Hives and Horrors or Fortune, Glory, and Roleplay
by eliasbloodmoon
Summary: Ever since John mentioned the human game Dungeons and Dragons, Vriska has been intrigued to the point of obsession. Now she asks John to teach her the game. Update: In which the investigation truely begins. Oh, and Karkat is a glutton for punishment.
1. Dungeons and Dragons

**AN: Yes, there is some amount of roleplaying humor in this. And once you get to the roleplaying scene they do play the game, but I will state that its not all rolling and statsand stuff. There is a punchline, I will say that.**

**Also, I don't own Homestuck. That being said, let's get this show on the road!**

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It was something her mind kept on coming back to. Ever since that conversation with John she couldn't concentrate. It was like every thought led back to him and what he said. It was almost obsessive. She might even say that she was… No, feeling that way would be silly. But maybe now that everything was over, and they had finally won, maybe this idea wasn't so bad. It still took her weeks before even gathering the courage to talk about it to John.

"Hey John?" Vriska asked as she stepped into John's room. Her confident self had faded away, and her nervousness was showing. She avoided eye contact and her grey cheeks had a tinge of red. John looked up from his laptop he had placed on his desk, looking at the female troll.

"Oh hey Vriska," He was surprised by the girl's entrance, "What's up?" He pulled the one headphone he had in out of his ear and spun his chair around to face her, leaning the office chair back.

"I, uh…" She took a step towards him, "I have something I've wanted to ask you about…"

"Uh…" John felt uncomfortable. Vriska was losing her cool. That was never a good sign.

"Gog this is so embarrassing," She muttered to herself, "I can't believe I'm doing this." John continued to stare, confused and terrified (if not a bit intrigued) by the girl's emotional state. What was so embarrassing that she had trouble telling him? Him, the person she went to when dealing with her feelings about killing. He had a feeling there was going to be trouble, and lots of it.

"Dammit, John, I'm just going to come out and say it!" She yelled throwing her fists in the air and starting to pace back and forth, "Ever since that conversation we had I haven't been able to focus at all. Everything I look at I just can't stop thinking about…" She stopped pacing and just looked him in the eye. John was blushing, hoping that he knew what was coming.

"John!" She yelled as she grabbed him by the shoulders, "I want to learn about that Dungeons and Dragons game you mentioned."

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"Okay, so I hope you don't mind, but since this was kinda last minute, I didn't get a chance to make an adventure so I'm using a premade one off the internet." John explained as he looked up from his papers behind a screen at the head of the table. At the table sat his players. There was Vriska, of course, along with Jade who joined as soon as he mentioned the game. Rose took a little bit of wheeling and dealing, but she was interested at the mysterious powers that lay in the world of the game. How Vriska managed to get Karkat to join, he had no idea.

"Okay," John muttered behind his screen, flipping haphazardly through the stacks of papers he had, "I guess we'll introduce the party…" He paused, trying to gather his thoughts, "Vriska, since you were the one that started this, I guess we'll start with you and go clockwise." He looked to the girl seated to his left, and pulled out a notebook so he could write who's who.

"Okay then…" The girl pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose as she glanced as the sheet, "I am Spinneret Mindfang, and I am a drow rogue. My goal in life is to become one of the most skilled pirates on the face of whatever planet this game takes place on. And hopefully earn titles in whatever kingdom we are in. Maybe become skilled enough to earn the title of Marquise."

"I'm sure after so long you'll be skilled enough to earn a title. But you're a rogue?" John asked, "I assumed you would be a cleric of Lolth." Vriska raised an eyebrow.

"Lolth? Who's that?"

"Goddess of the drow. She's half spider." John explained. The troll grabbed her pencil and turned it around, debating whether or not to change her characte. She wavered for a few moments before just erasing her patron deity and changing it. She uncomfortably put her pencil down.

"Next up, Rose. What's your character?" John asked.

"My name is Victasys the Death Dealer, and I am a human warlock who was disabled, but made a pact with a beast from beyond time and space so she would be able to go on adventures, but so far has only been able to work as a magical assassin." Rose read the name off her sheet.

"The Death Dealer?" John chuckled at the name, "A bit morbid for the Seer of Light, don't you think?" Rose only responded with a glare.

"Anyway, next up we have Jade." John pointed to the girl.

"I am playing Lady Anastriana Celestialine, a half-elf wizard. Her parents were nobles, and on the day of her birth a strange old lady came and spoke a prophecy over her. The prophecy was whispered in Ana's ear, so she's the only one who knows it. She doesn't know it though because she was a baby at the time so who knows what her destiny is?" Jade put down the notebook she had, "And that's the gist of the important stuff. There's more detail but I won't go into it now." John nodded at the background, taking shorthand notes on what to add later in the game.

"And last but not least, we have Karkat." Everyone looked over at the only male player in the room. The troll cleared his throat as he looked at the sheet.

"I AM PLAYING THE ROLE OF ONE…" He was cut off by the rest of the group grasping their ears and trying to get him to shut up, "WHAT! I'M JUST READING MY SHEET!" Vriska quickly used her psychic powers to silence him.

"Karkat, we aren't over chat now," She explained, "You don't have to use all caps. You can use your inside voice now. Are we all clear?" Karkat nodded, and Vriska released his mouth.

"I am playing the role of one Ortis Loreweaver 'the Rising Hawk', drow paladin. I am a devout worshiper of Kord, god of battle and violence and ass kicking and things like that." With that John nodded, leaned his chair back, and dimmed the lights for mood lighting.

"Woah, woah woah!" Karkat yelled as the lights dimmed, "What is this?"

"It's called mood lighting. Deal with it," John said as he brought his chair back to its feet, "Anyways, here's the scenario. You are all members of a new adventuring group, we'll get into details for that later, and you've made your unofficial station in the coastal city of Flamecrest. While sitting in the local tavern you hear tell of trouble over in…" He looked down at his papers, squinting, "I can't read the notes in this light."

"Smooth move dicklick." Karkat chuckled. John glared at him before leaning back and flipping the light back on. He sat back down and looked at his notes.

"So you hear about some trouble over in the city of Riverdeep. Apparently they are being attacked by something. You don't overhear any details unfortunately."

"Do you think we could help out?" Jade looked at her allies, hoping for some input. Vriska had a mischievous smile.

"The proper question is if we'll get properly rewarded," She stated, "I don't want to go over there for pride's sake."

"A little cruel don't you think?" Karkat countered, "We should revel in the glory of battle, along with any amount of glory we can get from defending this town," He glanced around the table at his compatriots, "I am doing this right?" He whispered. Vriska gave him a thumbs up.

"But is that not what being an adventurer is all about?" Rose piped up, "The fortune and glory? We may be helping people but that doesn't change the fact that this is a mercenary outfit, not a philanthropist organization."

"You can," John cut in, "look for information on the town. With a streetwise check you can gather information about the town." He waited patiently as everyone rolled their dice.

"I've got a five," Karkat said, "Wandering the streets searching for clues wasn't what I signed up for."

"That's an eighteen for me," Rose said, "This hitman has some criminal contacts."

"I've got an eighteen also!" Jade clapped excitedly, "And I'm not even trained."

"The thief has a twenty five." Vriska said. John looked down at his papers.

"Okay, so first of all, Ortis," John chuckled, "Maybe the battle pits in the basement of Kord's church aren't the best places to find out about current events."

"Did I at least kick some ass?" Karkat grunted. John nodded. Karkat smiled.

"Now Ana, you remember this soothsayer you went to in the sleazier part of town during one of your attempts to find out about your prophecy. Conveniently enough it just so happens that The Death Dealer here knows her through her criminal contacts. She does her thing and grants you some information about the town. Apparently the town's economy was originally in fishing and things like that, but an attempt to dam the nearby river ended badly. The water flooded over and eventually became stagnant, turning the area into a swamp. Now they have a market in medicines and basic magical items."

"But what about the trouble?" Jade asked, "What is attacking the city?" John paused for a moment, trying to improvise.

"The old lady cackles madly, then suddenly her and the shack you were in disappears and you find yourself in an alley, still kneeling by the same campfire." John said. Rose and Jade looked at each other, wide eyed. Karkat made weird sci-fi whistling noises, followed by the group chuckling.

"Anyways, Spinneret, you are mingling in your favorite pub, the Seafaring Arachnid, when you meet up with a town guard from Riverdeeep who went AWOL after surviving an attack by the creatures. The creatures happen to be…" John stared at the notes. An awkward silence filled the room.

"The creatures were…" Vriska stared at him. John licked his lips, tapped his feet, anything to figure everything out.

"You know, I think I should hold this off for some more time so I can prepare more," He explained as he started gathering up his papers in a rush, "Look, I'm just going to run back up to my room. You guys can mingle or something or…" He grabbed the papers and ran out of the room.

"John what's wrong?" Rose reached after him as he ran away. They looked around, trying to figure out what was going on. It was then that Jade noticed one of the papers that John had dropped. She picked it up and looked at it. She muttered a few lines to herself, chuckled, and shook her head in mild shame.

"What was it?" Karkat asked. Jade showed the paper to the two aliens.

"The enemy creatures in this adventure were trolls." She started cracking up, and soon the rest of the group followed. Once the party finally calmed down, silence filled the room again, until it was broken by Rose.

"So, while we're waiting, anyone up for Call of Cthulhu?"

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**AN: Yes, and thus we come to an end. Its more or less finished, but I have no qualms against continuing it with either them continuing to play D&D or Call of Cthulhu if I get enough requests. Anyways, thank you and good night.**


	2. Call if Cthulhu: Edge of Darkness

**A/N: Well I've decided I'm going to continue this with all of the characters playing all the random RPG's I know. So next up we've got the first part of Call of Cthulhu. It's going to be longer because they're playing a first game. IDK what game I'll do next but I'm sure it'll be fun.**

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"The year is 1928," Rose began, "It is the beginning of the jazz age. Prohibition is currently in affect; society is in a constant era of change as people recover from the horrors of the Great War, which there will totally never be another one. You all live in the city of Arkham, Massachusetts, a small university town about two hours outside of Boston. You all may or may not know each other, but at most you only know each other in passing, but you all happen to know a man named Rupert Merriweather a former professor at Miskatonic. So who are you all?" Rose looked over at Karkat.

"I am playing as Steven Walker, and I am a private investigator. I'm a gruff jerk who is willing to do everything to get the job done. I knew Rupert because he hired me. I don't know what I was hired for but I'm pretty sure that you'll have something for me." Karkat said. Rose nodded.

"You were hired to look into the wellbeing of some random people. They all passed away unfortunately, but that's all you know. You did manage to get a good friendship going with him though," Rose wrote down some notes, then looked over at Jade, "And you?"

"My American name is Sally Galer, though my name from the motherland is Viktoriya Strelok. I'm a Russian who moved to America following the communist takeover, and now I live in Arkham as a professional artist. I know Mr. Merriweather because he has bought a few of my paintings."

"And your paintings," Rose cut in, "have had a strange inspiration lately. You're not sure what though." She had a mischievous smile which Jade seemed not to notice, "Now we have John."

"And I am playing one Nicolas Tyler part time musician and student at Miskatonic," John played air piano on the table, "Rupert is actually an old family friend of mine."

"Good, good," Rose wrote down, "So we have a painter and a musician…" She thought for a moment, "We'll definitely need to continue this later. But next up we have Vriska."

"I am Professor Angela Satchford, a professor of Anthropology at Miskatonic and, I just made up, is one of John's teachers," She looked over at John, who gulped. She winked at him before looking back at the rest of the group, "I'm mostly a field agent, as they say. I run around in foreign countries and find treasure and stuff."

"So you're Indiana Jones?" John asked. Vriska stared blankly at him, "You know, from the movies?"

"I don't remember him from any of those Nicolas Cage movies…" She looked down at her sheet.

"What weapons do you have?" Jade leaned across the table, "Then we'll know."

"A bullwhip and a .38 revolver. What does that have to do with anything?" She slammed her paper down on the table.

"You are a female Indiana Jones!" Jade laughed, and John and Rose soon joined. Vriska looked over at Karkat, who shrugged.

"Can we just get on with the game!" Karkat yelled. The humans quickly calmed down. Rose cleared her throat.

"So, you are all asked to visit your friend Merriweather in the hospital on the date of April 5th, 1928; a Thursday," Rose checked her calendar notes, "You all go to Saint Mary's hospital, right next to Miskatonic, where you all meet up and realize that you all have the same goal."

"Professor Satchford?" John looked inquisitively over at Vriska, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Same as you Nicolas," She said with a glare, "And I suggest you watch your tone and your language with your superior." John gulped again.

"So you are all escorted to Mr. Merriweather's room, where you see him lying in his bed. Next to him are his wife Agnes and his weasel-like son Bertrand. Rupert notices you and, in a raspy voice, introduces you to the two, then asks his family to leave. They get up, Agnes tearing up, Bertrand glaring at you, and leave the room. 'Shut the door please,'" Rose spoke in a raspy voice.

"I shut the door," Jade said. Rose nodded, then continued in the raspy voice.

"'I guess you're wondering why I asked you here.'"

"I assumed you were giving me another job," Karkat said, "Though since you brought these three, I guess not."

"'Actually, I'm here to give all of you a job,'" Rose coughed, took a sip of water, and continued, "When I was in college, a group of my friends and myself, led by a slightly older man named Marion Allen, started exploring into the occult. We bought a barn out in the city of Ross's Corners. In one of our later meetings we performed a ritual that brought a horrible creature into this world. We casted a spell that seals the creature within the house, but unfortunately only lasts as long as at least one of the casters lives."

"Those were the people that you had me researching!" Karkat cut in. Rose, as Rupert, nodded.

"'Indeed. I am the last one left, as you know. And I am sick. Once I die this creature will be free. I am in no shape to dispel the creature, so I must ask you to.'" John raised his hand.

"We aren't in class Nicolas," Vriska said with a smirk, "No need to raise your hand." John put his hand down.

"Yes, anyways, why didn't you guys dispel the creature while you were all not dead or dying?" Vriska glared at him again.

"We were too scared to go back. It was the most terrifying thing I've ever seen," Rose coughed again, "Okay, can we hurry up and finish this scene? This raspy voice is killing me," Everyone nodded, "Anyways, he continues, 'All the details are in the box over there on the nightstand. Please take it."

"I guess I'll take it then," Jade said, "I walk over to the nightstand and grab the box."

"As you pick up the box Rupert suddenly has a spasm and spits up a gout of blood over you before falling into a coma," Rose smiled evilly, "Make me a sanity check," They looked down at their character sheets, then back at her. She shook her head, "Take the two dice that make the 100 sided and roll under your current sanity. Any time I make a check, try to roll under your points in it."

"I pass with flying colors." Vriska said.

"So did I." Karkat high fived Vriska.

"I think we both failed," Jade looked over at John's dice, and he nodded.

"The Professor and the PI are fine," Rose said, "Nicolas, your family friend just exploded with blood, and you lose one sanity. Sally, you are now covered in blood and lose," She rolled a die behind her screen, and looked up sadly, "Two sanity."

"OH MY GOD!" Jade yelled.

"OH MY GOD!" John yelled.

"OH MY GOD!"

"OH MY GOD!"

"OH MY GOD!"

"I slap him whilst yelling, 'Get a hold of yourself!', then run outside and yell for a doctor." Vriska pointed at John.

"And I comfortingly guide her to the restroom," Karkat pointed at Jade, "But I use my handkerchief to touch her because she's… you know, covered in a lot of blood…" Jade raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Dear Mr. Walker, I didn't know you were such a gentleman. Or a clean freak." She chuckled. Karkat glared at her, a tinge of blush on his cheeks.

"At that point, in response to the Professor's cries, a bunch of doctors rush in, along with the family. You, being in the way, are quickly rushed out of the room," Rose motioned them out of the room, "Now you are all sitting in the hallway. What do you do?" There was a moment of silence.

"I guess I open the box…?" Jade says, unsure of herself.

"In the box you find a yellowed envelope, an ornate, sarcophagus shaped box, and a slim journal. The box is covered in hieroglyphs." Rose grabbed some pieces of paper that were handouts , making sure she had them all.

"What time of day is it?" Vriska asked.

"It was a Thursday, which means you most likely had work, so I'd say its early evening now." Rose calculated. Vriska nodded.

"Well, since tomorrow is Friday, I say we split off and do work tomorrow," Vriska said, "I have class tomorrow, and can get some time done translating the box."

"And I don't have anything going on," Karkat added, "I can read the journal while we wait, then we can all meet up at my place to discuss what's going on."

"Sounds like a plan," John said, "Let's break and finish this matter tomorrow. I have to study anyways…" He hung his head.

"And with that you all go back to your lives for the day," Rose said, "You meet up after work on Friday at the PI's place," She smiled evilly, "But first, Karkat, come aside with me so we can talk about that journal." Karkat gulped as Rose dragged him out of the room.

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**What? Having the characters I ship sit next to each other with mild pairing hints? What kind of accusation is that!**

**But I will admit I feel like this one isn't as funny. This concentrates on more of the roleplaying than the last one, where there is humor in the lack of gaming. But I'd love any reviews on how which style is prefered or how I could fix that. Anyways thank you for reading.**


	3. Call of Cthulhu: The Box

A/N: Well, for the sake of clarification, I'm going to explain kinda the "When and where" of this story. Essentially this takes places after the humans have won Sburb. By winning Earth has been returned to normal. All those who died (IE Mom, Dad, and Bro) have been brought back to life. By winning John, Rose, Jade, and Dave have earned a pocket dimension that they have complete creative control over. They still go to Earth as Sburb was to give them their potential, being a coming of age story, but they choose to live in this pocket dimension as they can make it their dream house.

Unfortunately the Trolls did technically not win, so their world hasn't been fixed, and all the dead trolls are still dead. So, in order to stay with their friends, the trolls have been invited to the pocket dimension to live there. Now the Trolls and our four heroes live together in this world. And thus hilarity... I SMELL A SITCOM!

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Karkat walked back into the room with a sheet of paper in his hand. His eyes were grim with the shadows of forbidden realization. A dark truth lay on his soul, and everyone could see it. Not really, but for the sake of roleplaying he did. That being said, as he sat down everyone watched as he crossed off a few sanity points and increased his knowledge of the Mythos.

"So, you are now at the PI's house," Rose said, "It is around five o'clock, and he has a nice delivered meal from the local diner down the street. You're all set up around the table ready for the discussion."

"Yeah, you have no idea how embarrassed I am," John joked, "Being told to stay after class by the teacher? Not cool. It's like I'm in trouble."

"Come on, it's not like you aren't used to staying after class," Vriska chuckled, "It's not like you haven't been… What's the term again? Earning your A?" The room went dead silent, nobody knowing how to respond to the implications of her statement. Vriska didn't know why everyone was silent, so she decided to break it.

"So, uh….." Vriska cleared her throat, "What did that journal say?"

"Oh right! The journal!" Karkat flashed back into reality, and looked down at the paper in his hands, "The journal dates between June of 1881 and March of 1882. In a nutshell he and six other members formed a group called the Dark Brotherhood. They bought a farmhouse out in Ross's Corners, where their leader, Marion Allen, carved protective symbols around all the entrances. Afterwards some details of séances and other such things, bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh," He pretended to skip through he nonexistent journal, "Then we get to the group getting this Egyptian artifact that had some amber in it; I assume the box you have. They are excited, and they talk about how Miskatonic has a book they need called De Vermiis Mysteriis. Apparently the book says that there is a spirit encased in the amber that will be a guide to the spirit world. They set a date in March, bluh bluh bluh. Then we have this entry here. It is taken the night of the ritual. Rupert watched the ritual and has the details. At one point he sees smoke come out of the amber and he cuts off his writing mid-sentence. He continues the next day, and he starts discussing how one of the members of the brotherhood is dead, another bat-shit insane. They lie to the cops about what happened. Then he states that apparently they could have dispelled the creature by reversing the chant under the conditions of the ritual. Afterwards there is simply a listing of all the surviving members of the brotherhood and the year of their death. There is a newspaper clipping about the death of Marion Allen who was killed in a botched robbery. That is still suspicious though, as he said he was being chased by people looking for an Egyptian artifact he no longer had, and he had his tongue cut out. In the end there is one last thing written by Rupert, where he essentially says he's going to hire us to finish his dirty work." Karkat finished reading all his information with a sigh. John to copious notes on the discovery.

"Okay, now about this box…" Vriska looked over to Rose, "What did John and I find?" Rose looked down at the papers again.

"Flashback to earlier at school. Make me Egyptian and Occult rolls," She said. The two players picked up their dice and rolled twice.

"I made the Egyptian, but not the Occult," Vriska said.

"It's okay," John said, "I've got Occult covered." Rose searched through her stack of papers until she found a small one.

"Professor, you can translate the inscription on the outside of the box, which says this," Rose handed Vriska the paper, "You try to translate the ones on the inside, but they aren't Egyptian. Your student then points out that the markings are actually related to an old legend about the lost pacific continent of Mu." John raised an eyebrow at the information.

"What does Mu have anything to do with us dispelling the creature?" John asked.

"Hell if I know!" Vriska shrugged, "But the box reads this: Seeker of wisdom, Servant or Son of Yugr or Yoag Setheth, Deliverer of the people or slaves of the water, Bearer of the spirits of Nar-Loth-Hotep, Child of Thoth, Seeker of Wisdom." The group was thrown into silence again.

"What does any of this mean?" Jade asked, "Well, besides the journal. And what was in the envelope?" Rose quickly realized they forgot to open it earlier.

"Oh! It was a key and a deed to some house out in the boondocks. Some city outside of Boston called Ross's Corners," Rose explained. Jade nodded as she wrote down the item. Suddenly Rose spoke up again, "There is a knock at the door." Karkat sighed.

"It's my house," He said, "I'll answer it." He motioned as though he opened a door.

"You open the door and it's Rupert's son Bertrand," Rose explains, "And he says…"  
>"I slam the door on his face," Karkat cuts her off. Rose stares at him for a minute. "He's a weasely little bastard. I'm not talking to him." Vriska shook her head at Karkat's response.<p>

"Mr. Walker, show some respect!" She scoffed, "At least see what he wants." Vriska pretended to open the door.

"'Where's the box?"

"I slam the door in his face." Vriska said, straight faced. This time John shook his head.

"Let's at least hear him out. We can be civil." He said. He pretended to open the door. Rose glared at him with every amount of fake anger she could.

"'You know, it's not polite to slam the door in one's face.'" She said.

"You know what, if he's going to be ungrateful that I opened the door for him I'm just going to shut it on him again." John responded, slamming the nonexistent door.

"Let the man speak his freakin' peace!" Jade yelled before she opened the door.

"'I want the box. My father left it to me and therefore it is mine.'" Rose continued to glare. Jade didn't know how to respond.

"Excuse me!" Karkat cut in, "He gave the box to us and," He rolled his knowledge of Law, "We own it now. I think, if my knowledge of human American law is correct. Besides, even if we didn't it's still technically his box so… Eh!" He stuck out his tongue.

"'Father died not even an hour after you left," He said, "So that box belongs to our family." The players all looked at each other at the realization of Rupert's death.

"I'm sorry for your loss, but we've got an errand so I must bid you good day." Jade shut the door politely on Bertrand. Rose knocked on the table.

"I SAID GOOD DAY SIR!" Jade opened the door and slammed it in his face. The group chuckled for a moment before continuing on.

"Now that that's done with, what are we going to do?" John asked, "With Rupert dead that means that the creature is no longer confined to the house. We need to stop it now."

"I say we wait until tomorrow morning," Karkat spoke up, "No point in rushing into the lion's den, at least at night. At least in the morning we'll be able to see clearly."

"I agree," Jade said, "Working at night it just plain hard. Though performing cult rituals is a lot different than painting."

"You can stay at my place and we can leave first thing in the morning," Karkat had a suspicious look on his face, "Don't want to split up with Bertrand on our ass…"

"You think he's a threat?" John asked.

"I don't know," Karkat responded, "But he wants the box that's tied with creepy cultic stuff. And he doesn't seem that distraught about the death of his father. Especially with the mysterious deaths of the others, I don't trust him." There was some scratching of pencils on paper as people wrote some notes.

"So that's the plan," Rose continued the plot along, "You spend the night as Walker's, wake up the next morning, and make your way out to his vehicle…" Rose had a few pictures of 1920's vehicles she showed to Karkat.

"This one, I guess," Karkat said as he pointed to a sedan, "It's big enough for all of us."

"Then you get inside and start driving out to Ross's Corners." Rose said, flipping through the papers to find the information she needed.

"Shotgun!" John yelled. Vriska muttered some curses at her lack of speed.

"So we're driving out to Ross's Corners…" Karkat said, "Why are we doing this? I realize it's a friend's last request but still, we're dispelling a demon! I don't believe in this crazy supernatural crap."

"You don't?" Jade asked, "I find it quite inspiring to say the least. My art greatly takes from it and sometimes I can't think of it not existing."

"Indeed, I've seen many legends and tales that you wouldn't believe until you've seen them!" Vriska said. The metaphorical car was thrown into silence.

"Are we there yet?" John piped up.


	4. Call of Cthulhu: Ross's Corners

**AN: Before you read this, I really want to apologize for any and all typos in this piece. It was a hectic weekend with massive amounds of multitasking. I'll fix it during the week.**

**Anyways, I love this chapter simply because being a DM (known properly as the Keeper) for Call of Cthulhu is a great way to let out any and all sadistic feelings. And as a person writing about a CoC game with some of his favorite characters... Let's just say the more I write fanfiction, the more I come to realize how much fun it is to screw with the characters I love.**

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"Are we there yet?" John piped up. Karkat glared at him, then back over to Rose.

"Are we there yet?" The troll asked.

"You have indeed reached Ross's Corners," Rose nodded, "The area known as Ross's Corners is very spread out, with many farmhouses dotting the countryside. Most of the farmhouses are disused at this point. The actual city of Ross's Corners is only two real buildings: a church and a combination general store, gas station, and post office. You can choose to stop in town or continue to the farmhouse."

"I say we stop and buy some supplies." Vriska suggested.

"Supplies for what?" Jade countered, "We don't even know what we're facing."

"I say we keep going." Karkat said, "This is my car, and we're going with my decision as a driver because I'm a dick like that." The others looked around, muttering in agreement with the logic.

"You drive through the town and head straight on to the farmhouse. It takes a little longer since you didn't ask for directions," Vriska raised her arms, her body language screaming 'What did I say', "But nothing too out of the way. The farmhouse is brick, but the windows and doorframes are wood. It's one story, but there is a window to what looks like an attic, and there is most likely a storm cellar or root cellar or something like that. Assuming you all get out of the car, what do you do?"

"I draw my gun and approach the door," Vriska said. Jade and John looked at her weird.

"I also draw my revolver and approach the door, but I'll be checking around and watching her six." Karkat said. John threw his hands up in the air.

"Why are we all drawing weapons on an abandoned house?" He yelled. While the trolls did their best to form a calculated response, Rose cut in.

"As you approach the door, Steven can make me a Spot Hidden check, and…" She looked up around the table, "Anyone else who is looking around as they approach the door." Karkat and Jade picked up their dice and rolled.

"I spot what is hidden!" Jade said.

"Me too." Karkat said.

"You both notice something lying in the tall, uncut grass nearby. And once you notice it, you also notice a faint sickly sweet smell." Karkat pointed the nonexistent gun.

"Hey guys, I think we found something!" He looked at John and Vriska, "Then I approach the thing in the grass."

"I run over quickly." Jade said. Vriska held her finger up to her mouth and motions to John to approach, who nods.

"The thing lying on the ground is the carcass of a raccoon, recently dead by the looks of it." Rose explained.

"What happened to it?" John asked.

"From the top you can't see anything, but you kick the body over and you can clearly see the gaping hole in its chest." Rose explained. Jade gasped and Karkat grabbed her and pretended to shield her.

"Since you two are looking," Rose pointed to John and Vriska, "You two can make me Natural History and/or Medicine checks." The two roll some dice.

"I got nothing." John said.

"And I've got Natural History." Vriska said.

"Okay then, Professor Satchford, you can tell that the cause of death was from something gnawing open the chest and eating the heart out. This could have been done by a fox or something, but the edges of the wound are disconcertingly smooth." Rose's evil smile looked out from behind the screen. Vriska bit her lip.

"You okay Professor?" John asked.

"I'm fine Nick," She said, "It was probably killed by a fox or something. Anyways, to the inside!" She dramatically motioned.

"The front door is locked," Rose said, "The doorframe is covered in strange symbols which you can identify with an occult check."

"The journal said that Allen carved protective symbols on the door, right?" Jade asked to Karkat, who nodded, "Then those are the protective symbols. I take out the key and unlock the door." Rose nodded and looked at the notes.

"The door opens easily. Who's going in first?" Rose looked straight-faced. Karkat and Vriska looked at each other.

"Ladies first?" The male troll shrugged. Vriska nodded, and pretended to push the door open with her drawn.

"With the professor on point and Mr. Walker behind her, you all go inside to find yourself in a room. It is covered in dust from many years of disuse. There are empty bookshelves lining the walls and leaves and detritus cover the floor. The wooden floor is warped from rain leaking through the roof. Rot has eaten away at a couch and matching chairs," Rose said, pausing as she made a few rolls and looked over at the players' sheets. She calmly smiled and folded her hands.

"Nothing important," Karkat said, "Next room." He hand signaled forward to the next room. Vriska nodded, and then motioned opening the door.

"Near the entrance to the room is a set of stairs going to down. Also nearby is a ladder leading up to an attic, of which the trap door is covered in the earlier mentioned occult symbols. The back door is slightly ajar and there is a large fireplace on one side of the room."

"The room is clear," Vriska said as she lowered her gun, "You want to split up? You take the basement, I'll take the attic?"

"Sure. I'll take Sally downstairs, and you can take Nicolas into the attic," Karkat suggested.

"Woah, hold up there!" John cut in, "We don't get a say in this conversation?" He motioned to himself and Jade. Jade shrugged.

"I'm fine with the plan," She said, "It seems okay. John looked at her.

"But they've been in charge ever since we've been to this house!" He said, "They've been making the decisions."

"We're older than you and I'm your superior," Vriska said.

"We've got the guns," Karkat added. John sighed in subservience.

"So Steven and Sally make their way downstairs, I assume Steven in front?" Rose asked. Karkat looked over at Jade, and then nodded, "But first we'll start with Nicolas and Professor Satchford. Who's going up the ladder first?"

"Ladies first?" John smiled innocently. Vriska gave her best demeaning smile.

"Dear John, the Ladies First rule only implies on doors that are being held open by young men. So, dear Nicolas, you better go on up there and hold open that door for me. Now get a move on and earn that A," She motioned John up the ladder, "Don't worry, I'll catch you if you fall." John sighed.

"Okay then, I guess I go up the ladder," He said. Rose looked down at the notes.

"The trap door is kind of heavy and is rusted. What's your strength?" She asked.

"My strength is…" He looked all over his sheet, "Here. It's actually 12. A little bit above average." He smiled. Rose rolled some dice.

"Yes, the door opens into a dark room," Rose read.

"Do I have a flashlight that I could look around with?" John asked. Rose bit her lip and thought for a few seconds.

"Sure, why not," Rose said with a frown, "I'm not going to be that big of a jerk. You look inside and see nothing. Then you suddenly hear a growl as something rushes towards you. Cut to the basement!" Her frown turned into a smile, "You walk inside with Steven in the lead. Karkat, make me a Spot Hidden check."

"And the lucky number is…" Karkat rolled his dice, "Oh come on! I had my highest scores in that skill!" He slammed his head on the table in frustration. Rose smiled again.

"You walk in, not as cautious as you might hope, when suddenly you get hit in the face by a table leg for," She rolled some dice, "Nine damage." Karkat, his head still face down on the table, bonked the back of his head with his fist.

"Ow." Rose looked over at his character sheet.

"I do believe that's over half your hit points in one go. Make me a Constitution times five roll to stay awake." Rose said. Karkat got back up, rolled his dice, and slammed his head back down on the table again.

"So, Sally, you've just seen a man jump out of the darkness and bash your new friend in the head with a table leg, who just fell over, and now the guy is running towards you," Rose explained the situation, "What do you do?"

"I step into the corner and scream in terror!" Jade shrunk back, hands on her face. Rose looked over at Vriska.

"Angela, you hear a cry as though someone is exerting themself, then the cry of someone getting injured, and then you hear a female scream. What do you do?" Rose continued.

"I…uh…" Vriska wasn't ready for the situation to go this fast already, "I point my gun at the stairs and prepare to shoot at whatever comes up that isn't those two."

"Okay then," Rose looked over to John, "Nicolas, you sense something running at you, and it doesn't sound happy. Make me a Dodge check." John gulped as he looked at his sheet.

"I can do this…" He rolled the dice, and then threw his fists in the air, "I made it! I dodged it!" He danced on the spot. Rose smiled.

"Okay, you drop off of the ladder just in time to not get hit by whatever it was. Good thing the professor was ready to catch…" Rose suddenly had a clearly fake realization, "Oh! The professor was going to shoot at whoever came up the stairs. John, take," She rolled some dice, "Three damage as you sprain your ankle landing on your professor." Vriska glared at John, then at Rose.

"You're a horrible person Rose," She said.

"You see a person run past Sally and up the stairs, armed with a table leg, when you are suddenly assaulted from above by someone landing on you. If you shoot make me a check at a plus thirty penalty to hit him," Rose smiled. Vriska glared as she rolled her dice.

"That's a miss," Vriska sighed, before slamming her face on the table. She then got up and glared at John, "'First of all Nick, you know I like being on top' and then I push him off, 'Second, what the hell was that?'"

"Something tried to attack me!" John yelled, "'And you said you were going to catch me!' At which point I rollup my pants and check my leg."

"Guys!" Jade yelled, "Mr. Walker has been hurt!" Then she looked over at Jade, "Can I first aid him?"

"Yeah, it should be fine. Since we're on the subject, remember you can make one check per injury so if you get hit multiple times..." Rose explained the rules. Jade then rolled the dice.

"Okay then, so that means he recovers d3 damage," Jade rolled some dice, "So he recovers three damage and I guess wakes up?" Rose nodded. Karkat looked up from the table.

"What in gob's name just happened?" He asked.

"I help him up. 'Some guy jumped out and got you in the face.'" Jade said.

"So I walk back upstairs and look for the guy." Karkat said.

"There is no sign of the guy," Rose said, "He most likely ran out the back door. You two also see the other two lying on the ground, Angela looks pissed and Nick is grabbing his leg." Jade raised her hand.

"I guess I can look at it then. First aid," Jade rolled her dice, "Two health back to you."

"And I get back up and run outside to see if I can see him." Vriska cut in.

"I guess I'll take a thorough look around the room," Karkat shrugged.

"Actually, first, things first," Rose said, "When you get to the top of the stairs and gathering your wits, you suddenly hear the trap door slam shut above you. Then there is growling and the like. Make me Sanity checks. Those who pass lose one; those who fail lose a d2." The players rolled some dice, followed by many sighs and grunts.

"Anyways, Angela, you don't see anything outside. He ran off pretty fast," Rose turned over to Karkat, "As for the room, the fireplace still has some dying embers in it. There are various foodstuffs around it, most likely from the guy that ran out you would guess. On a shelf you find a cigar box. In the box there is a brown powder, a smaller box with a small amount of a silvery powder that you honestly can't identify at all. It seems not of this world. Next to it are a bunch of papers. There are a few copies of a Latin chant, three sheets that discuss the random history of the ritual, followed descriptions of the ritual along with a note that says if you do the chant in reverse it might dispel the creature." Karkat nodded.

"So there is a strange otherworldly powder?" Karkat asked. Rose nodded. Karkat looked around, and then slowly pretended to bring a pinch of powder up to his mouth.

"It tastes horrible." Rose says, straight-faced. Karkat spazzed out, sputtering. Everyone chuckled.

"Anyways, now that that's over, I wait until we regroup and explain the situation." He followed up.

"So we have the ritual," Jade said, "Do we have the components?" They looked at Rose.

"Yeah, the components are all around the barn. The brown powder is to be sprinkled in the middle of a special symbol drawn in chalk. As for the silvery one you don't have a clue. The only thing is the ritual is done at midnight." The group looked at each other.

"Alright then. Let's do this," John put his hand in, "Hands in everyone." They all looked at him. Jade put in her hand, soon followed by Vriska.

"I am not putting my hand in." Karkat said. There was a moment of staring, before they knew he wouldn't move.

"Buzzkill." John muttered.


	5. Call of Cthulhu: The Ritual

Rose looked down at a pretend watch, "You got there around noon, so you have plenty of time to kill before the ritual can be performed at midnight. What are you going to be doing to pass the time?" The group paused for a moment.

"I'll sit on one of those shitty armchairs in the first room and study all the papers for the ritual and prepare," Vriska shrugged, "Maybe read the journal if I have the time." Rose nodded and looked to John.

"I guess I'll go to the main town and make a food run." John said.

"Sure," Karkat said, "Take the keys," He pretended to toss the keys, "If I find one scratch on her when you get back, you're the sacrifice if this ritual needs one. Meanwhile I'm going to stand outside and smoke." Rose looked over at Karkat.

"You're going to go outside and smoke…"

"Yup."

"For the twelve or so hours until midnight…"

"Yup. Maybe see if I can the couch out and sit on it while I smoke."

"Okay then," Rose nodded before looking over at Jade, "So Jade, what are you doing?" Jade tapped her finger under her nose as she thought.

"I guess I go outside with him, pull out my drawing pad and just draw," She said.

"And you can help me with that couch!" He yelled excitedly before frowning, "I'm way too excited about this." Jade chuckled.

"It's okay," She said with a smile, "I help him with the couch." Rose nodded.

"Jade, you need to make me a Drawing check to see if your final product is any good." Rose said. Jade looked down at the dice.

"That's a 20," She said, "That's a pretty good success." Rose nodded.

"So here's what's happen to you guys," She said, "John, you get into town and buy your food, but you get lots of dirty looks. You don't know why they're looking at you, but as you drive away you do here some whispers of some famer's wife disappearing. Apparently she disappeared an hour or two after Rupert died," John's eyes widened, "Of course there obviously can't be any correlation between those two. No way at all, especially since the supernatural clearly doesn't exist." John glared at the smiling Rose.

"You're an evil person," He said.

"Vriska, you read the papers and easily prepare the ritual. Then you read the journal, stopping only for lunch once he gets back. Gain one Cthulhu Mythos and lose one point of Sanity," Rose said before looking over to Karkat and Jade, "You sit there peacefully until he gets back with food. You eat, then go back outside to finish your smoke and drawing."

"I leave for not even a half hour!" John facepalmed, "And now a couch is outside? What is wrong with you people?"

"Wait, while we're eating," Karkat cut in, "Before we go back out, I want have to ask this. Professor, how was your student here earning his A after class?" He smiled evilly.

"He was helping me translate stuff," Vriska said, straight faced.

"I was moving boxes!" John stuttered simultaneously. They looked at each other.

"He was helping me move some boxes to my office and helping me translate the artifacts insi… Oh gob I've just realized what I've been implying this entire time!" Her face became very flushed as she placed her hands over her mouth, "I am so sorry John, oh…" John and Vriska continued to blush as the other three laughed their asses off (well, for Jade it was more of a chuckle and Rose gave a polite snicker).

"Anyway!" Rose had to force herself to stop laughing, "You two who are outside, when do you plan on going back inside?"

"I'll probably just keep drawing until the light is gone, and then go inside." Jade said. Karkat nodded at the idea.

"Better to stay outside while I can rather than go inside a musty old house." He reasoned. Rose smiled.

"Good, good. Around sunset you all hear a whistling noise from the attic, followed you two seeing a faint, tangling vortex fly out of the attic and out over the fields, only to be lost in the fading light. Make me a sanity check!"

"I pass." Karkat said.

"So do I." Jade said.

"You both lose zero sanity as you properly rationalize everything." Rose said with a sigh.

"It's a flock of birds!" Karkat yelled as he pointed at an empty space in the air, "And then I run inside."

"So then nothing happens until around ten o'clock, where you must make me Listen checks," Rose said as the players rolled their dice, "If you passed, you hear a scream out in the distance. Sounds vaguely like that guy who bashed Detective Walker's skull open."

"How far off does it sound?" Vriska said as she held her hand like a gun.

"Too far off for you to be of any use, you'd say," Rose said, "The best thing to do is wait and perform the ritual."

"So I guess we do that," Jade said, "Let's get this show on the road!"

"Okay then. You wait for the final two hours before starting the ritual. Here are essentially the ritual's rules," Rose pulled out a hand written piece of paper that recreated the script from the papers they found. That being said, this version was much more simplified, "You all don't have to chant. You just need at least one person chanting at all times. Also the creature will be set free if anything ruins the symbol written on the floor. The rules for insanity are 5 in one loss or your POW worth of sanity, and it's going to be pretty fast and furious, so be sure to tell me when anything happens. So you start chanting…" The room was thrown into silence as Rose shuffled through some papers.

"So we're chanting…" John nodded, "…Snape… Snape… Severus Snape…" Karkat and Rose both glared. John stopped.

"About twenty minutes into the chant you hear a snarling from the attic followed by a thump. The creature has landed. Sanity checks. Those who fail lose one," Rose waited through the sighs.

"Next, you hear howling from upstairs, and the entire house starts to shake. Sanity checks, this time you lose one if you pass and a d3 if you fail." Rose waited again.

"Now things get really interesting. This goes on for about half an hour until suddenly you all need to make me luck checks!" More dice rolling.

"I fail this time." Vriska snapped.

"I pass easily." John says.

"Just barely pass." Jade said.

"And I pass it to!" Karkat said. Vriska glared.

"You're all chanting when suddenly thick, stinking goo seeps down through the ceiling. Some of it lands on you, Ms. Satchford. It burns like a mother and you take one damage and get any scars as you see fit for the sake of badassness," Vriska paused for a moment as she thought of Rose's offer.

"I think I'll go simple and just a burn going up my arm. Speaking of which OW!" She grabbed at her arm.

"I run over to her and check on her," John rolled his dice, "And I successfully first aid her."

"Cool, you recover the damage and we move on!" Rose flipped to the next page, "After about another hour, give or take, you hear the sound of a car pulling up. There is suddenly a knock at the front door of the farmhouse."

"I'll go check on it," Karkat volunteered, "I open the front door."

"Outside you see Bertrand…" Rose said.

"I slam the door in face again," Karkat cut her off.

"…With three police patrolmen standing next to him." With Rose's comment, the smile wiped from Karkat's face. He slowly opened the pretend door.

"Sorry about that…" He said sheepishly, "I, uh, just see Bertrand's face and I have compulsion to, you know, just slam the door in his face. You know, it mental connections and all that." He laughed it off.

"Well, good sir, I must ask that you let us inside," Rose said, her voice changed to be that cop.

"I'm sorry, but we're kinda busy right now," Karkat looked behind him, "Look, here's my card. You can call me tomorrow morning but right now is really not a good time."

"I'm sorry sir, but this young man claims to own this property and that you are squatting." The policeman replied.

"Well I apologize good sir, but the man you speak of is a conksucking little shit who is lying. Rupert gave us the deed to the place before he passed on the other day." Karkat looked mildly pissed (at least by his standards).

"Or you killed him and stole it from his bedside before anyone could notice." Rose was clearly Bertrand again. Karkat glared, and then smiled.

"Well then, good Bertrand, why don't you come in?" He motioned to let the man pass.

"Okay, so Bertrand and the cops enter…" Rose starts.

"Is Bertrand first?" Karkat asked. Rose paused for a moment, then nodded, "Here's the plan. I punch Bertrand in the face, then slam the door on him so he and his cop buddies go tumbling out. I bolt and lock the door, then push one of the nearby bookcases to cover the door. While I'm bolting and locking the door I yell for the people in the other room to get the other door." The rest of the group stared at Karkat for a good minute before anyone spoke up.

"Karkat, are you an idiot?" Vriska glared at him. Rose held up her finger and shushed her.

"Hold on. I want to see how this plays out," Rose looked Karkat in the eye, locked in an eternal power struggle of awesome, "First, roll me for punching him."

"I hit," Karkat rolled, "For a healthy seven damage too." Rose marked that down with a smile.

"So you lock and bolt the door. Now roll me Strength times five to push the bookcase quick and properly enough." Karkat rolled the dice.

"The bookshelf is pushed in front of the door! Nobody is getting in!" Karkat fist pumped.

"Nick!" Vriska yelled, "You get the back door!" John nodded and grabbed the dice. Suddenly Jade raised her hand.

"I'm saying this out of character, but am I the only person who's been chanting this entire time?" Jade asked. John nodded.

"Yes, yes you are," John said before looking back at Rose, "I lock and bolt the door."

"And Strength times five for pushing a bookcase over." Rose smiled excitedly. John rolled the dice, his excitement at it's climax. It was all suddenly drained when he rolled a 97. He glanced up at Rose.

"Unfortunately 96 and higher is the critical failure threshold," Rose sighed, "As you're pushing the bookshelf, some of the wood breaks and it essentially just falls apart from the water damage. And…" She rolled the dice, "The cops burst through the door. 'What the hell is going on here!"

"While still chanting, I reach into my bag and pull out the deed." Jade cut in.

"One of the cops runs past you and…" Rose rolled some more dice, "Tackles Steven. You are quickly cuffed. Anyways, make me Listen checks," They rolled their dice, "Everyone who passed hears a cry for help off in the fields. Doesn't really matter, because the cops and Bertrand are doing their best to restrain you." Rose rolls some dice, "The one that seems to be the leader orders the one that attacked Steven to go and see who it is. He leaves, you still are chanting, and then the cop screams. You see them run outside and then they run off screaming. Bertrand then picks up a dropped shotgun and points it at you," Rose pointed at Vriska, "'I am taking my father's house! You aren't taking this from…' Then you see him falter and drop it, running off through the front."

"What's his problem?" Karkat asked, "Can I try and break out of these cuffs?"

"What's your strength?" Rose asked.

"Sixteen," Karkat said.

"Make me a roll," She replied. Karkat rolled some dice.

"I got a 35," Karkat said.

"You can't break the cuffs," Rose turned over to the other three, "So you see Walker in the other room trying to break the cuffs, and things aren't going to well. Meanwhile you guys are still trying to perform the ritual. The suddenly you hear cries of anger coming from outside as you see two figures burst through the back door. One looks like some farmer's wife while the other is the guy the hit Steven in the face. They rush forward, one heading for Sally while the other heads for the professor," She smiled evilly, "Vriska, what do you do first?"

"Well, I draw my revolver and shoot at the one coming at me," She said, rolling her dice, "And I roll a…" She looked down at her dice, showing a 100. For a second John though he could see tears starting to form.

"You pull the trigger and the gun responds with an anticlimactic click," Rose made a finger gun, then turned to John, "What is Nicolas going to do?"

"He dropped the shotgun right?" John asked, and Rose nodded, "Double Barrel or Pump?" Rose nodded again, "If I dive for the gun do I have enough time to fire off a shot?" Rose paused for a moment.

"You will, but it has the ability to fire twice in a round. You'll lose the second attack," Rose ruled. John grabbed the dice.

"I heroically dive for the shotgun and point it at the one diving for the professor!" John pointed the air longarm, and tossed the dice onto the table.

"I assume I'm within," He looked at his Dexterity, "Twelve feet so I'd be within point blank range," Rose nodded, "So then I hit for..." He looked at the shotgun on the weapons sheet and rolled those dice, "A whopping fifteen damage!"

"So Vriska, you point the gun at the hobo who is coming at you and it clicks. Then as the creature is about to come down on you there is a loud blast and you are spurted with blood, and Nicolas is laying on the ground near you pointing the shotgun," Rose said. Vriska smiled at John.

"Now that's what I call earning that A!" She yelled. She and John hi fived as Rose looked over at Jade.

"Now, what are you doing Sally?" She asked.

"Well, I guess I turn and run whilst doing my best to keep chanting." She shrugged. Rose rolled her dice.

"The creature doesn't hit you as she chases after you," She sighed, "Next up, Vriska's second shot!" Vriska picked up the dice.

"Okay then, I am going to shoot the other zombie thing," She rolled the dice onto the table, "And I hit for eight damage." She said.

"Okay, the other creature gets hit in the head and it slumps over!" Rose looked over to Karkat, "Want to try to break those cuffs?" Karkat rolled the dice.

"I got a twelve…" He said.

"And you break them," Rose nodded. Karkat followed with a fistpump, "So the ritual continues on until you get to the last five minutes. Suddenly you see a horrible wisp of smoke and tendrils come down from the ceiling and land in the center of the pentagram. Make me sanity checks. If you pass you lose one." Rose waited as they rolled their dice.

"I fail," Said John.

"So do I," Jade muttered.

"John, you lose," Rose rolled her dice, "Two, while Jade loses seven. Which means, Jade, you need to make me an Idea check, and you want to fail this one." They marked their sanity and then Jade rolled her dice.

"I passed." She sighed.

"The professor, Mr. Walker, and Nicolas watch as this horrible, evil monster with tentacles and smoke is in the symbol snarling at you," Rose then looked over to Jade, "You, on the other hand, don't see an evil tentacle monster. You instead see…"

"A friendly tentacle monster!" Jade was excited, "A Squiddle?" Rose stared at her.

"Yes, a Squiddle."

"Does it want to be tangle buddies!" She was bent over the table with excitement.

"Er… Yes, it does want to be tangle buddies…" Rose shook her head.

"Yay! I'm going to run for it!" She clapped.

"We need to stop her!" Karkat yelled. John look over at Vriska.

"Use it." Was all he said. Vriska nodded.

"I grab my whip and try to wrap it around her to pull her away." She flicked the whip. Rose tapped her foot as she did the math.

"Okay, you'll have to roll a critical though. Roll me the dice." Rose motioned her hand. Tension filled the air as she grabbed for the dice. The girl fumbled with them in her hand for a moment. She held them up to John, who stared blankly until he realized he was supposed to blow on them. Then the dice fell on the table.

"It's a one!" Vriska threw her fists in the air and hive fives went all around.

"So you whip her back and continue to complete the ritual. The five minutes pass and the creature is banished. With a howling scream the creature slowly shrivels up to a point before falling in on itself and disappearing. You have succeeded in your mission." Rose smiled. The group high fived some more.

"So this means we win right?" Jade asked. Karkat looked over at her.

"Not exactly sweetheart," He shrugged, "We've still got some loose ends."

"Right!" John said, "Like what did that box have to do with Mu? And does this mean we could discover a lost world?"

"Not to mention," Vriska cut in, "Marion Allen was killed for this box. Who's to say we aren't in the crosshairs now?" She shrugged. Jade sighed.

"Well then, I guess we've bitten off a bit more than we can chew," She looked disheartened. Karkat put an arm around her.

"I'm sorry if I sound cheesy, but thing is you're looking at it wrong," He looked at the rest of the group, "This could be a start of a grand, yet terrifying adventure."

"Well what are we waiting for?" John said excitedly, "Let's get this started!' and then I run outside." The group chuckled.

"As you laugh and walk off, you look forward to a future of action and adventure, yet unprepared for the horrors that may come. You start blowing out candles, and eventually all that's left is the candle by the door. You all leave, with the professor being the last to go. She turns around and grabs the final candle. She blows it out, and the screen fades to black. Credits scroll," Rose concluded. The room was silent as the contemplated the end.

"So, since we're making this a movie with credits," John said, "Is there anything after the credits that tease for the next movie?' Rose thought for a moment and flipped through some more papers.

"Actually yes," Rose said, "If that's what you want. It's a few weeks later, and you're in mid-May, though we're moving what you just did back to 1920 for the sake of argument. Nicolas, you and the professor are in the Miskatonic library looking through the local records looking up anything on Marion Allen when suddenly one of the workers approaches you with a phone saying there is a call for you. You take the phone and it's Steven saying that you've got a job, and the details will be at a meeting in a few hours at his office. You all say, 'Let's get going' and start running off, and the camera pans down into the ground, where you see a gaunt figure, clearly dead, on an altar. His eyes open!" Fake gasps come from the group. (Except from Karkat who muttered about calling it).

"So, we'll wait a little while if we get back into Call of Cthulhu," Rose said as she neatly stacked the papers, "What game do you guys want to do next?"

**XxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxxX**

**A/N: Anyways, here we finally meet the end of Call of Cthulhu. Depending on how long I keep writing these, not to mention reader input, I might bring it back to these characters and continue with that adventure. So, in order to celebrate the release of LA NOIR last week, my plan now is to do the Film Noire themed game A Dirty World with a few returning and a few new members of the party.**

**Speaking of which... Well Vriska, you rolled a really botch there. Looks like *Pulls out sunglasses* you don't have all the luck. YEAH!**


	6. Side Story: Some Would Call Him Slender

**A/N: Well then, I've decided to put some Side Stories in the plot in between each game. These are just little funny things which may or may not set the mood for the next game, expand a little on the pocket universe they're in, and just make things... Well... funnier. Here's the first one right now!**

Rose couldn't help but investigate the cries coming from the interdimensional house's ("John, our house and the world around it may be in its own dimension, but we are not calling this place the TARDIS," She told him) Home Theater Room. It wasn't loud, nor was it suggestive or anything like that. She just happened to be walking down the high walls with tapestries and stained glass windows, and heard the, "Oh my Gob!" from the room. She never liked being nosy, but it wouldn't hurt to see what was going on in there.

She opened the door to the dimly lit theater. Nearby was a technological looking popcorn machine, though next to it in the wall was a food replicator that could give you anything you wanted. The door had opened to the far right of the theater, and a downhill stairs led through three rows of six seats that were in the style of a Captain's chair from a Star Trek show. Even then the seats could be moved to a better position for group viewing or could be replaced for a seat of a preferred style.

In the middle of the entire theater sat John and Vriska on a couch in the style of the Captain's seats. His arm was along the back of the couch, barely touching her shoulder. She was alternating between leaning forward with her hands over her face and leaning back and into his shoulder trying to hide her face from the screen.

Whatever they were watching looked to be some crappy indie movie. By the looks of it, this scene involved the camera being one character in the driver's seat, and a character in the passenger's seat having a dialogue about God knows what. Rose took a few steps into the room and cleared her throat. John looked over and Vriska jumped as she turned behind her.

"Hey Rose," John said with a nod before turning back to Vriska, "Okay then, now right up here will be a clear sighting. Pay attention." Vriska cuddled up to him but still paid close attention to the screen. Rose walked up and leaned against the back of their couch.

"Hey guys, what are you watching?" She asked as she stared at the screen. Suddenly the guy behind the character was kind of freaking out, hastily putting the camera away as he said they were done filming.

"Yeah, I borrowed the first season of Marble Hornets from Dave," John explained, "Yet another human thing Vriska wanted to learn about." Rose raised an eyebrow.

"You mean the Slenderman videos?" She asked. John nodded.

"What, why was he freaking out?" Vriska leaned forward in her seat, "I didn't see anything…" John grabbed the remote and rewound the scene.

"See right there on that deck or stairs, whatever it is. He's right there." John pointed as he grabbed for a nearby laser pointer. Vriska's eyes widened.

"Oh that is bullshit!" She cried, "No! That is not cool!" She buried her head in John's shoulder. He looked over at Rose with a smile.

"I love these movies. They're pretty creepy," He said. Rose nodded.

"Yes, they are quite strange. Anyway, I would love to stay and watch but I've got to start working on the next game," Rose said as she turned to leave the room.

"Rose, before you leave, quick question," John said as he waved he back with his free arm. She glanced back at him and walked back within whispering range.

"Hypothetically speaking, what would happen if I prototyped the Slenderman DVD? Or just Slenderman in general?" He whispered. Rose stood up and stared at him. There was a moment of silence as the locked eyes. Then Rose slapped him upside the head.

"Don't be an idiot." She said as she walked off.


	7. A Dirty World: Scene of the Crime

**A/N: And now we've got our first part of the Film Noire game A Dirty World. This part is actually semi-original when compared to the other two (actually the D&D was a made up adventure but we never finished it, but CoC was an adventure from the core book), but this case is based off of something. I was in mock trial this year, so I decided to take the case and make it all noirish.**

**XxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxxX**

John and Vriska looked across the table at the two newcomers. They were both surprised that the two people across from them weren't the usual Jade and Karkat. John looked over to Rose.

"Rose, where are Jade and Karkat?" He asked. Rose looked up from her papers.

"Hm?" She wasn't paying attention. John motioned over to the new players, "Oh! Jade had some homework that she needed some help with and Karkat offered to help," She looked back down at her papers, "Seriously, you should know that. She is your sister." John rolled his eyes.

"Okay, but that doesn't change the fact that why are they here?" John pointed to the two.

"Excuse me!" Terezi said, "We're right here. You could just ask us." She crossed her arms, "I joined because I heard you were playing a mystery game and had an opening," John sighed.

"Okay, my main question is not you, but him?" John motioned to the other, "These games aren't cool."

"But Terezi convinced me to join her because she was going to play," Dave said, "Plus, since these aren't cool, it would totally be ironic if I played it." John slammed his head on the table.

"Anyways, we are going to be playing A Dirty World, a film noire based game where your characters can take damage not only physically, but mentally and spiritually as well," Rose spoke dramatically, "This is a world where crime and corruption are rampant, and justice is rare but swift. Everyone, including your characters, has a secret that they keep. You work in the city of Hollyville, also known as Little Hollywood. The city has been home to the start of many great careers, but just like the big city there is corruption and sin abound. Now who is everyone playing as? Let's start with the new people and go counter clockwise."

"I am playing police detective Casey Scott," Terezi said, "I was a patrolman for the last few years, and just passed the detective exam and was sent to homicide. I also have a good chunk of medical knowledge because my father was in forensics and became a coroner as he grew older."

"Here we have Detective Kendal Malone," Dave said, "I am a homicide detective in my mid-thirties. Unlike Scott here who likes to investigate, I've been around enough to not trust people. I'm big, tough, and I don't take shit from nobody. Ironically, even though I don't like investigating, I'm a highly trained tire track analyst."

"Wait, Dave's playing the sociopathic detective who beats confessions out of people while Terezi is the logical one?" John asked. Terezi glared at him.

"This is roleplaying John, not Terezi-playing-Terezi-with-a-different-name-playing." She said. John nodded.

"I am playing as Magnus O'Malley, a bartender in Hollyville. The name of my bar is the Baron's Bar," John flipped over his sheet, looking for more details, "I also spend my free time doing odd jobs for my uncle Leo."

"I am Sandra Delany, a reporter for the Hollyville Times," Vriska said, "I'm one of the reporters who does anything to get the story," Her eyes narrowed and she reeked of danger, "Anything."

"Anyways, let's start this thing off," Rose pulled out her notes, "We'll start out with Detectives Scott and Malone. The date is April 13th, 2009. At 9:52 PM, you were called out to the address 413 Winchester Ave to investigate a possible homicide. You arrive at 9:55 PM. What you see is," She pulled out a diagram of a house, "There is a house here, with a U shaped driveway. There is a vehicle there, a lime green VW Beatle, with a man lying next to it. Across the street you see a muscular African American man in workout clothes sitting on the curb. You are the first officers to arrive at the scene."

"I run over to the body, give a quick look over of the scene, then check for a pulse." Dave said, "Casey, you talk to the man across the street." Terezi nodded.

"The body is that of a middle aged man. He is Caucasian, male, laying about four feet from the front of the car. He has a computer bag on him," Rose described, "You check for a pulse, and there is none. This man is dead."

"I search the guy's wallet. What's his name?" Dave asked.

"You look in his back pocket and grab the wallet. The guy's name is Preston Palmer, and this is his address," Rose pulled out a fake ID, "Make me two rolls, a Cunning Observation check and a Patient Demonstration check and look for matches." Dave picked up the dice for his rolls.

"I wasn't built for this," he said as he rolled his dice. "That's no matches for both."

"Okay then, you find nothing else out," Rose said, "There is a man named Preston Palmer lying dead next to a lime green VW Beatle."

"With a car that color, he probably deserved it," Dave said. Terezi looked over at him.

"Um… Lime green?" She asked. Dave pulled out his iPhone and found a picture colored lime green. The girl took a good lick and reeled back in disgust, "Bluh! Yeah, I can agree with you there. But what about the guy across the street? What's he doing?"

"He's freaking out. He's knelt over, hands shaking. Make me an Understanding Purity check," Rose said.

Terezi rolled the dice and nodded, "I've got a pair of nines on purity. What do I understand?"

"This sort of emotional response, the way he's acting, this is most likely shock from finding the body," Rose did her best to avoid the psychobabble she loved.

"I approach him and flash my badge, 'Sir, I'm Detective Scott with the HVPD. Are you the one who this in?" Terezi said.

"The man looks up, 'Yeah, I called it in. The name's Morgan Bernard.' He stands up, still shaking a little," Rose said. Terezi pulled out a notebook, remembering what an attorney would need for information to run on.

"What is he wearing?" She asked, "Anything that could be used as a weapon?"

"He's wearing a grey t-shirt and matching running shorts, along with black sneakers. The only object that he has on him is an iPhone, at least without frisking him. His clothing isn't that baggy though, so you would find something quickly," Rose said. Terezi wrote that down.

"So what exactly did you see?" She asked.

"'Nothing much,'" Rose said, "'I only found the body. Oh my Gob, I just saw him driving up not fifteen minutes before…'"

"Do you know the victim? Who is he?" Terezi asked.

"'I only know him through his work. We aren't friends. His name is Preston Palmer, a professional critic.' Roll me a Patient Demonstration," Rose said.

"And this time I got two sevens!" Terezi smiled as her luck.

"Yeah, you recognize Mr. Palmer's name. He's one of the most influential critics in the area. Unfortunately he's also the most scathing. Most of his reviews are extremely low and negative," Rose explained.

"Well, thank you for your time Mr. Bernard," Terezi said, "Just write your number and address on the pad so we can contact you. Here's my card, contact me if you can remember anything else. At that point I walk back over to my partner and ask if he has anything." Dave shook his head.

"No," He said, "You're the forensics guy. What can you give me from this?"

"Cunning Observation?" Terezi asked. Rose nodded, and Terezi rolled the dice, "And I have a pair of sixes."

"You notice two things. First of all, the computer bag next to the body still has the computer, not to mention that the wallet your partner is holding still has money in, the clearest one being a fifty," Rose said.

"There's still stuff on him," Terezi muttered.

"So, I guess we can rule out mugging gone wrong," Dave replied.

"You also see some bruising around the neck," Rose said, "Looks like strangulation."

"Can I determine with what?" Terezi asked.

"You can with a Patient Observation roll, but it'll take some time. So if you do that Dave will have a little while to look for anything else." Rose explained.

"Well, since I have free time," Dave looked down at the diagram, "Is that a path going into the backyard?" Rose nodded, "I guess I follow that path and see if there is anything back there."

"You see…" Rose paused as she drew on the map, "A gate right here, leading out of the wall surrounding the house. That leads to the next street. There, you see a set of tire tracks in the dirt next to the road, right next to the gate."

"Can I make a Cunning Observation check to check out the tracks?" Dave asked.

"Sure," Rose said, "It'll also give you extra information of the scene." Dave rolled the dice.

"And I've got a pair of ones," Dave said, "What do I detect?" Rose looked at her notes.

"You manage to take a cast of the tracks, but one thing you notice," She points to the soil around the tracks, "There are no footprints around the tracks. You can judge it for yourself as to why that is."

"Is the area muddy?" Dave asked.

"A little bit, though it's begun to dry. It rained on the night of the 11th." Rose said.

"Well, if the car was part of the murder and was here a few minutes ago, the soil has dried enough to prevent footprints from forming," Dave speculated, "I walk back to the body."

"And I got a pair of twos on my roll," Terezi said.

"You finish up as Dave walks from the backyard. Looking at the neck, it looks like he was strangled by a smooth cord like a computer cord or microphone cord. There are some scratch marks on the neck, but they seem to be self-inflicted. That's the gist of it, but the coroner will have to give you the details." Rose said.

"So we've got a murdered critic who was strangled outside his house." Terezi said, "And there are no real witnesses. This will be quite difficult." Dave took off his sunglasses and wiped them on his shirt.

"Yeah, I'd say this murder gets a," he put his glasses back on, "Four out of five."

"YEAH!"

Silence filled the room. Everyone looked over at John.

"Really?" Dave said.

**XxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxxX**

**YES! CRAPPY ONE LINERS FOR THE WIN!**

**On a completely unrelated note, I really got to stop taking characters from one subject (IE HOMESTUCK) and making them characters for other games. I just started playing APB the other day, and now my head canon involves Equius and Rose being gun toting vigilante buddy cops...**


	8. A Dirty World: Meet the Press

**A/N: I will admit, it may be kinda hard to write but I like A Dirty World a lot. It's a really psychological, philisophical game. It deals with the duality of human nature and how nothing, not even morality, is a constant. Even if you don't like roleplaying, I think you should at least check it out if you're into that philisophical stuff.**

**XxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxxX**

"It is the next day, five in the morning," Rose turned to John, "You're lying in bed in your sleazy apartment above your bar when you are suddenly woken up by the sound of your phone ringing. What do you do?"

"I pick up the phone and mutter a half asleep hello," John held an invisible phone up to his ear.

"'Hey there Magnus,'" Rose had an amazing fake Irish accent, "'It's your Uncle Leo!" John nodded, slowly leaning to the side, half-asleep.

"Hey there Leo… It's five in the morning… And the bar closed late last night…" He muttered.

"I'm sorry for waking you up boyo, but I've got a favor to ask you," Rose said, "I've got some friends in the police that told me that an old friend of mine, Preston Palmer, died last night. I want you to go over there and see if you can help with the investigation a little."

"Leo, it's five in the morning," John repeated, "Couldn't you have called me, I don't know, when I would reasonably be awake?" Rose glared at him

"Is that the respect I get from all I did for you?" She said, "I just want you to do a simple job, and you're yelling at me about waking you up."

"Oh, no sir!" John shot up, "It's just, I get cranky when I'm tired. So, was Mr. Palmer a business associate of yours or…?"

"Preston was a friend and that was all. He was a good man, despite what people say. I want you to find out who did this. We clear?" Rose said.

"Gotcha. Talk to you later," He hung up the fake phone in his hand, "And then I take a shower, afterwards watching some TV while drinking low quality coffee because I know I won't be able to get back to sleep, all whilst having a hard boiled, miserable monologue in my head." Rose shook her head. Who knew John was so genre savvy?

"So anyways, now it's the femme fatale's turn," She turned over to Vriska, "You get a call at a much more reasonable time, like seven thirty. It's your boss down at the paper."

"Hey boss? What do you need?" Vriska asked as she held the phone to her ear.

"I need you to get down to the police station and cover a murder for the paper. The local critic Preston Palmer died last night and you're the best we've got for a job like this." Rose said.

"Palmer died? That guy who wrote scathing reviews of everyone?" Vriska paused, "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer me to stay with my current story instead of…"

"Did I ask you a question? No! Get your ass down there ASAP!" Rose yelled.

"And a sweet ass it is, thank you very much!" Vriska hung up the fake phone. Everyone chuckled at her response.

"Now that we've gotten everyone introduced, we might as well teach you about scene ending boosts," Rose said, "When you finish a scene you can either slide one of your stats to its opposite, or you can boost one of your stats if you've met the conditions on the cheat sheet. You all learned something new so you could raise Demonstration, but if you have an argument for anything else I'd be happy to hear it." Terezi and Dave both made marks on their sheet while John and Vriska looked at the cheat sheet.

"Could we say she was scorned by her boss and I was scorned by my uncle for the sake of Defiance?" John asked, "Since, you know, he did technically threaten me."

"And since my boss did insult me and force me to quit my current, extremely important job or case or whatever to do this," Vriska added. Rose nodded.

"Sure, write those down and we'll go onto the next scene," she said as she flipped to the next paper in her stack, "It's now eight in the morning, and Captain Sherman of the police force stands in front of the police station to make an announcement. You two," She pointed at Dave and Terezi, "Stand behind him as the lead detectives on the case. Meanwhile the bartender and the reporter stand in the crowd, watching as he speaks, giving out what facts of the case he can. Preston Palmer was strangled last night in front of his house. There are currently no suspects; two best detectives are on the case, all that sort of thing. When he finishes the press continues to ask questions as he walks off with the detectives back into the building."

"Can I push my way through the crowd?" John asked.

"Sure," Rose said, "Vigorous Defiance if you could." John rolled the dice.

"I've got a pair of fours," He said, "I push and shove my way into the station."

"Cool. I'll signal you when you can join the conversation after you've pushed through the crowd," Rose said, "What are you doing Vriska?"

"I'm press so I'll actually look bad trying to push my way through," She thought, "I'll wait for the crowd to thin out before…" She looked over to John and whispered, "How should I play her. Plucky reporter or what?"

"You're the femme fatale," John whispered back, "You're sneaky, seductive, and manipulative." Vriska raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, really? I can do that easy," She smiled, "Once the crowd starts to thin up, I, wearing my low cut blouse and skirt that hugs my curves, walk up to one of the cops guarding the doors until everyone leaves, 'Hey there handsome, I need to walk in there and talk to some of the cops. I'm sure that a man such as yourself and I could come to some sort of agreement,' as I press against him. And with Persuasive Corruption I get," She rolled the dice, "I got a pair of sevens and a pair of threes." Rose rolled some dice.

"'Well, I uh… I'm sure that someone needs to be allowed to get the story out. You can have the exclusive…' He lets you past, but since you waited for the crowd to clear a bit you'll get in later than John. So as I was saying," Rose looked back over to Dave and Terezi, "The captain walks back inside with you stopping you in front of his office, 'I don't have to tell you how important this case is to the city, do I?"

"Nope." Dave said.

"No sir!" Terezi said.

"'Good. Palmer may have been a real sonofabitch when it came to his career, but he was still really influential in the city,'" Rose said, "'I want this case closed as soon as possible.' He looks over to you Casey, 'This is your first case as a Detective. You get me a head to put on a pike for this and your career will soar.' With that he walks off and shuts the door on his office."

"So we've got one hell of a case on our hands and no leads at the moment," Terezi looked over to Dave, "Where do we go from here?"

"We wait," Dave said, "We wait for a lead to come in. Shouldn't be too hard."

"Especially when you've got friends in low places," John said.

"Hey there Magnus!" Dave said, "Casey, this is my friend Magnus O'Malley. Magnus, this is my new partner Detective Scott."

"Hey there." Terezi waved.

"So, did your uncle send you to help out?" Dave asked.

"Yup," John said, "We're always happy to help out in the community."

"So uh…" Terezi cut in, "Are you one of his contacts or informants or…"

"Relatively speaking," Vriska said, "We aren't all working for the cops," She smiled darkly at Terezi, "Some of us prefer to keep this city on its toes by ourselves."

"Delany, what the hell are you doing here?" Terezi and John said at the same time. Terezi had a bit more venom in her voice.

"My job," Vriska said before turning over to Dave, "Hi, I'm Sandra Delany. I'm covering the murder for the Hollyville Times."

"Nice to meet you," Dave responded, "Always could use a hand."

"What?" Terezi yelled, "No! I am not putting up with her!" Vriska chuckled.

"Oh Detective Scott, why are you so against me?" She smirked, "Let's all just get along, working together and solving mysteries!" Terezi rubbed her temples.

"I don't need this," She muttered, "I've got a lot of pressure and…"

"'Excuse me,'" Rose cut it. The players looked over at her, "You see a girl, looks to be a teenage girl, you'd say sixteen or seventeen. She's dressed up in a barista's apron and has a nametag that reads Hollyville Coffee Shop, Taylor. 'Excuse me? I was told that I should come talk to you. I'm here to talk about,'" Rose sniffed sadly, "'Preston's murder.'" The players looked at each other.

"Well then, I guess waiting gave us a lead," Dave said, "Let's talk.' And I take her to an interview room."

"I join him in the room," Terezi said.

"Well then, I guess we'll go into the viewing room," John said as he looked over at Vriska. She nodded.

"So we take her in, sit her down, I lean against the wall…" Dave said.

"I sit down across from the girl," Terezi said, "I pull out a notebook, 'Alright then, let's begin.'"

**XxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxxX**

**A/N: Well then guys, I've got a semi big announcement. Since it's Summer I'm going on a family vacation. That being what it is, I'll have more than enough time to write, but no internet access. When I get back, expect updates out the wahzoo, not to mention a bunch of side stories. Heck, I might even write this one angst fic I've been toying with (I don't like the genre but I want to expand my writing interests), maybe do a Q&A session since I have some other internet friends asking me questions. Anyways, talk to you then.**

**With love, Elias Bloodmoon**


	9. A Dirty World: Playing Detective

"So," Terezi asked, "Who exactly are you?" Rose knew enough of psychology to know how to act like the distraught young maiden in the interrogation room.

"My name is Taylor Hudson," She said, "I'm a waitress down at the Hollyville Coffee Shop." Terezi wrote down the girl's name and occupation.

"You said you had information about Preston's murder," Dave said, "How exactly did you know Mr. Palmer?"

"He was a frequent customer at the shop," Rose answered, "I was usually his server and we really started talking and getting to know each other."

"What did you guys talk about?" Terezi asked.

"Usually about his reviews, and any aftershocks that came because of them," Rose said.

"What do you mean aftershocks?" Terezi asked.

"Well, if you've read Preston's reviews you would know he wasn't the nicest guy when it came to his job," Rose said, "Bad things apparently happened because of them, and he got his fair share of threats. I don't really know any of the details though."

"Back to the matter at hand though," Dave cut in, "What exactly was it you wanted to tell us about this murder in the first place?"

"Well…" Rose looked away, scared, "It was two nights ago. I was working my shift that night and Preston wasn't there that day; he normally missed one random day a week for personal reasons. That night a young, Asian woman came into the shop. She looked around for a little while, and I approached her to take her order. She snapped at me though, saying that she'd tell me when she would place her order. I backed off, and after a few minutes she ordered a bottle of water and went out and waited in her car. She sat there for a while and left after so long." Terezi looked over at Dave.

"That's suspicious." She said.

"But has nothing to do with our murder," Dave retorted, "Unless you have a connection between this event and Preston's death."

"Actually, last night Preston came in, ordered his usual drink, wrote a review, and we talked a little. Everything was normal. But when I left, I swore I saw the same car driving behind him." Rose said.

"What did the car look like?" Terezi asked.

"I didn't get the plates, but it was a maroon Buick Century," Rose said.

"Doesn't give us much to go on," Dave muttered, "Hey, do you know if he was getting any threats recently?"

"Actually, there was someone," Rose said, "A person, screen named Tyler "Torcher" T was asking him to take down some reviews."

"Do you know who the reviews were of?" Terezi asked.

"No, unfortunately I don't know the name," Rose sighed, "I do know that it tied into his review of the Hollywood Humors comedy club six months back."

"Do any of us know anything about the Hollywood Humors?" Vriska asked. Rose looked at the notes.

"Actually Magnus knows about the club. The owner, one Ryan Howard, is an acquaintance of your uncle." Rose said.

"Why does your uncle know so many people?" Terezi asked. John shrugged.

"Well, thank you for your time Ms. Hudson," Dave said, "Cutaway to her walking out, camera focuses on foreground where we all stand. So what do you think of her story?"

"It seems reasonable," John said, "And she seemed genuinely distraught."

"You don't know that," Rose said, "Nobody rolled for Understanding Deceit or Understanding Honesty." They all facepalmed.

"Can we do it now?" Vriska asked. Rose shook her head.

"She seemed genuinely distraught." John repeated.

"She reminds me of me when I was that age," Vriska smirked. John frowned.

"Yeah, we need to fix her as soon as possible," He said. Vriska punched him in the arm.

"I'd still like to confirm the story," Terezi said, "We should check out that club. Let's go Kendal."

"Hey, I actually know of the owner of the club," John said, "Don't just cut us out of the chase."

"And I need my story!" Vriska said, "If I can't tell the world about his murder, I guess I'll have to put a more scandalous story out." She glared at Terezi, who glared right back.

"Ladies, stop fighting," Dave said, "Just be cool. Look, we also need to find out about Preston's review. Me and Magnus will go to the comedy club, you two do some research, we'll keep in touch."

"That sounds good," John said, "Let's go."

"Come on Detective," Vriska said, "Let's go have some girl time."

"I am not okay with this!" Terezi growled.

"Are you going to try and fight it?" Rose asked. Terezi shook her head.

"Naw, it's just funny when the camera totally cuts from me whining to me sitting with my arms crossed in front of a computer screen," Terezi said.

"Actually we're going to go to do Kendal and Magnus first," Rose said as she pointed at Dave and John, "You two arrive at Hollyville Humors. It's a nice joint, a bit neon lighted like 80's club in Miami. There are two guys acting as bouncers. Make me Cunning Observation rolls, Magnus with a plus one."

"I've got a pair of threes," John said.

"Pair of sixes," Dave said.

"Dave, you notice that on their person they have illegal weaponry on them. These ones are both carrying high powered pistols, but they aren't street legal," Rose turned over to John, "John, you recognize these tattoo's from your bar. These guys are wearing tattoos from one of the local mob families."  
>"So Ryan's got mob bodyguards," John muttered to Dave. Dave nodded.<p>

"Gentlemen, HVPD," He held up his hand like a badge, "We need to speak to Ryan Howard. We need information about an act that happened a few months back."

"The guards look at each other, one of them looks inside, and whispers to a guard inside," Rose said, "He waits for a few minutes before motioning you in and asking you to follow another guard."

"I guess we follow the guard then." John said.

"You follow the guard into the club, past the bar and towards one of the private booths in the wall. Up on stage a comedian of mediocre quality makes some pun about the coffee and religion and you hear a few snickers from the sparse crowd," Rose said, "Sitting in the booth is a beautiful, young, blonde woman in a white shirt with a purple blazer and skirt. She sips from a glass sitting on a table, leaving marks of her black lipstick on the edge. She…"

"Did you just Mary Sue yourself into the story?" John asked with a smirk. Rose glared at him.

"Actually, this is a premade scenario," She said, "All the characters are premade."

"Not in description," John said, "I've done this before."

"She waves you into the booth as she puts down the drink, 'Hello Detectives! Have a seat,'" Rose continued.

"As I sit I complement her on her headband," John said.

"So, what are you guys here for?" Rose flipped John off, "Would you guys like a drink?"

"I'll just take some apple juice if you have it," Dave said, "Can't drink on the job."

"I'm good," John said, "We're here on business Mrs. Howard."

"Ms. Howard actually," Rose said, "But please, call me Ryan," She smiled flirtatiously.

"Ms. Howard," Dave said, "We're investigating the murder of Preston Palmer, and we believe you might know the killer. He was getting threats recently involving his review that had something to do with your club. Any idea why that would be?"

"…Dammit!" Rose slammed her hand on the table, "I know exactly who it is. Preston reviewed me only once. I had a comedian on that night, one Jordan Bratton. She this young Asian woman, she's actually got a gift for comedy. But she happened to make a couple of jokes about critics. 'Oh, I'm a critic. I go to places for free and get paid to give my opinion.' Things like that. Preston didn't even stay for the full act."

"I'm going to roll Understanding Deceit time," Dave said as he grabbed the dice, "For three sevens."

"Preston Palmer did review Jordan Bratton and the club on the same night. The lady speaks the truth," Rose said.

"So I assume that this bad review hurt your own profits?" John asked.

"Nothing I couldn't handle," Rose said, "Things can only fall so fast before you catch them."

"Did you have any problems with Bratton?" Dave asked.

"Jordan has some anger issues," Rose said, "There was a heckler in the crowd once and Jordan jumped off the stage and beat him into a bloody pulp, I say with a certain level of exaggeration."

"What was your opinion of Palmer?" Dave asked.

"He was an insufferable prick who liked nothing better than to show his superiority by putting down everyone," Rose responded, "He's ruined so many careers it's not even funny. That being said, it's a shame he's dead. He's really important in the community."

"Okay then," Dave said as he closed the invisible notebook, "Thank you for your time," He motioned his head for his partner to go, "And as we're leaving and walking out to the car, I turn to Magnus, 'Do you trust her?'"

"I'm not sure," John said, "She's got some high quality protection for someone without anything to hide."

"But you forget where we are," Dave said, "We're in Hollyville, little entertainment capital of the world. You and I aren't the only ones with secrets out here. All I know is that she was telling the truth about Bratton."

"Hey, can I ask, what's you're secret?" John asked. Dave looked over at him, looking down his nose through the sunglasses.

"Is that question in character or out of character?" He asked back.

"In character," John said.

"Okay…" Dave muttered, "Don't you think it's enough that I think your secret is helpful? Or that I don't turn you in because of it?" John shrugged.

"I'm sorry man," He said, "I just thought we were close enough to do this. I mean, I know you're cool with my little deal but it's just… It's weird having someone know your darkness and not have their darkness in return."

"But yours is a question of legality," Dave hung his head as he took off his sunglasses, "I'm mostly fine with that. Mine is about… honor. I did something, a mistake I regret more than anything, and now I have to deal with it," They were silent for a moment, "You going to call your girlfriend and give her the information."

"She's not… anymore…" John sighed as he held the fake phone up to his hand, "Sandra?"

"Anyways, back to that scene with the ladies," Rose said, "You were actually called by the coroner and the CSIs. Couple more facts for you guys: It was strangulation like you thought, chord like you thought. Under the fingernails there were two things that were found, skin cells that were his own, and brown fibers. You can guess that the killer wore gloves. Anyways, now you two can do some roleplaying if you want before you make me Patient Observation rolls."

"No, I'll just try looking up Palmer's reviews on the computer," Terezi said.

"I'm just going to look over her shoulder whilst leaning against the back of her chair, 'So, how have you been?'" Vriska smiled.

"Shut up," Terezi said.

"Oh come on!" She said, "Isn't it great working together again?"

"Dammit Sandra, you think this is okay?" Terezi yelled, "You just walk in and try to help solve a case? Especially after what you did?"

"Hey, you're the one who did something worthy of blackmail," Vriska shrugged, "It's not my fault I like taking opportunities when I see them. Speaking of which, how is what's his face doing?"

"He left town after the case and I never saw him again," Terezi said.

"Oh, well that sucks," Vriska said, "Anyways, let's get back on the hunt." She grabbed the dice off the table. The two trolls rolled the dice.

"Yeah, and I am too busy trolling her to even really search," Vriska said.

"But I found something with a pair of nines," Terezi said.

"You end up finding Preston's review of the comedy club," Rose said, "It's actually pretty harsh, even when compared to his other reviews. The review is as low as it can possibly be, but he's mostly attacking Bratton if anything. Nothing but… heck, one would say pure spite. And then Sandra's phone rings." She points over to John.

"I put it on speaker." Vriska said.

"Hey Sandra. We've got a name." John said.

"Is the name Jordan Bratton?" Vriska asked.

"How'd you know?" John said.

"I have my methods," Terezi said, "Does she have a record?"

"Yes actually," Rose said, "Nothing serious. She had some generic teenage shenanigans back in high school, not to mention an assault charge that was dropped, also during high school."

"So that gives us a violent personality, doubly since she punched out a heckler, not to mention motive," Dave said, "I think we should give Jordan a visit."

"I'll call in for a warrant," Terezi said, "See you there."

"So we've got a stand-up comedian as a murderer," John said.

"We can't be certain for sure," Dave said as he put his sunglasses back on, "But we've got quite the lead here. Either way, we'll be getting the last laugh."

"YEAH!"


	10. A Dirty World: Suspect Number One

"You end up arriving at Jordan's house around the same time," Rose said, "The boys are in the patrol car and the girls in Sandra's car. It's a single story home with a garage that looks like it really needs some work done."

"Okay, let the cops do the talking," Terezi said, "We can technically get in trouble for having you on this case."

"We'll be good, don't worry," John said.

"Speak for yourself," Vriska muttered.

"Anyways, we approach the door and knock," Dave said.

"You knock on the door, and after a few seconds you hear a lock open and a deadbolt slide open. The door opens a crack and there is a young Asian woman peeking out, 'Hello?'" Rose says.

"Excuse me, are you Jordan Bratton?" Terezi asked.

"Yes…" Rose said, uncomfortably.

"Hi, I'm Detective Scott, this is Detective Malone, and we're with the HVPD. These are civilian investigators we've brought along with us," Terezi said, "May we come in?"

"Sure, sure…" Rose motioned them in, "Inside you see a dusty living room with a cheap piece of crap TV. This leads back to a kitchen and dining room, and down a hallway you can see a bathroom and a bedroom. A door nearby probably leads to the garage, but that's just an assumption for now."

"Ms. Bratton, mind if we take a look around?" Dave asked, "Detective Scott will ask you a few questions."

"Oh… okay…" Rose muttered, and then she perked up, "So, I assume Terezi is going to do the interview?" Terezi nodded, "What is everyone else doing?"

"I'll go and search what I assume is the garage," Dave said.

"I'll go search in the bedroom and bathroom," John said.

"I'll stay and simply observe the interview," Vriska said, "I'm good with liars."

"Okay, then," Rose said, "First things first. Kendal here finds himself in a dark garage. You flick on the switch and you are confronted by a maroon Buick Century."

"Same car that Taylor saw…" Dave muttered to himself, "I check out he tires. Do they match the ones from the scene?"

"With your specialty, you can give a cursory inspection but you'll have to wait for proper forensics. That being said, you'd say there was a good chance for a match by the looks of it," Rose said. Dave nodded as he tapped his fingers against his lips.

"Good, good. Is the car unlocked?" Dave asked. Rose nodded, "Okay then, let's search the car."

"Make me a Cunning Observation roll plus two," Rose said. Dave sighed.

"That's one of my worst rolls…" He said as he rolled the dice, "Actually I got three eights."

"Well, the plus two is because it was easy to find," Rose said, "The easy thing to find was in the trunk. There is a microphone and chord. What you found with the roll was in the glove compartment. There is a pack of brown cotton work gloves. It's a pack of three pairs and one in missing. Right next to it is a receipt saying that these gloves were bought a month ago." Dave reached over and wrote on Terezi's pad.

"So she threw away a pair of gloves which are the same color as the fibers from the body? That's suspicious," He said as he wrote.

"Now we switch over to the girls," Rose said, "You are sitting in the living room, looking across as this young woman. Make me Understanding Purity or Corruption, whichever is higher."

"Oh thank Gob," Vriska said as she grabbed her dice, "That's what I'm built for." Terezi glanced over at her and chuckled.

"I assume Corruption?" She asked.

"Of course," Vriska said, "And I roll for three fives."

"And with my Purity I got a pair of fours," Terezi said.

"You both look at her and, judging from both her and the surroundings, you think the review took a really big hit on her career. Not only is the place dusty and dirty, but you that basic niceties aren't even there. Also the girl seems to suffer from some level of malnutrition. Not complete starvation but she looks like things have been rough for at least a month," Rose said, "'So, you wanted to ask me some questions?"

"Ms. Bratton, do you know of someone named Preston Palmer?" Terezi asked.

"Vaguely…" Rose muttered, "I know he's a local critic."

"Well, we believe you might be associated with his murder," Terezi said, "Where were you last night?"

"Well… uh… I was over at my… friend Danny's house for dinner. Then I went over to the Hollyville Comedy Club for an open mic night. I had a reservation there, but I never went up," Rose said, "Make me either Understanding Honesty or Deceit."

"Deceit it is!" Vriska said as she grabbed the dice. Terezi looked over at her.

"Did we make our characters literally the exact same thing, only you're bad and I'm good?" she asked.

"No, of course not," Vriska shook her head, "You got the brains of the family, and I got the looks." Terezi glared, and then looked down at her sheet.

"Yeah…" She muttered, "Anyways, I got a pair of threes with Honesty."

"And three eights with Deceit," Vriska said.

"Sandra, you know for a fact that she didn't go to the comedy club. She's lying," Rose said, "Meanwhile, Detective Scott here notices that, the way she talks about her friend Danny, there is some weird emphasis. That struggling when she said his name wasn't because she was making an alibi. She's struggling to call him a friend."

"That's strange," Terezi muttered as she took the notes, "Your friend Danny, who is he?"

"His name is Danny Levinson," Rose said, "He's another stand-up comedian here in the area. After my career took a turn for the worse he helped me out a lot."

"And what happened with your career?" Vriska asked.

"It started out really well. After the economy took a hit comedians were there to lighten the blow. I was at the frontlines, and my career soared," Rose said, "But after Palmer's review I lost most of my jobs. I'm still getting by though."

"So you were pretty pissed about that I guess," Vriska said. Rose shrugged.

"I was at first, but honestly I just got depressed afterwards. I'm not really an angry person, and things have been rough in general recently," She said, "Now, cut over to Magnus!" She looked over to John, "You walk down the hallway and find a bathroom and a bedroom. Where do you search first?"

"I go to the bathroom first and search through all the cabinets," John said.

"You look through all the drawers and cabinets, and you find a severe lack of everything. There's no deodorant, no toothpaste, no mouthwash, no floss, etc. The only things you can find are bottles of pills, antidepressants," Rose said.

"So she's suffering from depression," John said, "I guess I go to the bedroom then. What do I find?"

"You find that her bed isn't made," Rose said. John let out a fake gasp, "Next to the bed, there is a backpack with a laptop poking out of it."

"Oh," John said, "I take it out and take a look at it."

"It opens up to a desktop. The background is a harlequin face," John facepalmed at Rose's description, "You assume it's a logo that Jordan used for herself. It's got the standard set-up for a computer. Internet Explorer, Microsoft Office, and other such things. Make me Patient Observation."

"I rolled a pair of twos," John said.

"You find a few things," Rose said, "The homepage is Twitter. Apparently she left a tweet the night of the murder that reads, 'I am going to kill tonight and shut all the critics up.' The only favorite you find is a site called Yell Up!. It's a site for internet reviews. Apparently Bratton filled in the 'remember me' box, and her login information is already in."

"I log in then," John said, "This must be where the review Palmer put up is on."

"You open up the account to be met with a banner that reads, 'Welcome Back Tyler Torcher T.' It opens up directly to Bratton's inbox where you see that apparently she had been having a conversation with Palmer," Rose said, "Assuming you open it up, the conversation basically says 'Take down the review or I'll ruin more than your livelihood,' followed by Preston's response of, 'I will never take down any of my reviews. I hope nobody ever has to see her perform ever again.'"

"I run out into the hallway, 'Hey, Detective Malone, I've got something you should see,'" John said.

"What is it Magnus?" Dave asked.

"Look what I found," John motioned Dave over.

"You see what I just described to John," Rose said.

"This is perfect. This makes our case!" Dave said, "I walk back into the living room and pull out my handcuffs, 'Jordan Bratton, you are under arrest for the murder of Preston Palmer.'"

"As you go to grab her and put the handcuffs on her, she yells, 'Get your hands off me!' She tries to punch you," Rose looked over at Dave's character sheet, and then rolled the dice, "Using her nails she just claws against your cheek. I'm going to say this quiet, malnourished girl got the jump on you since someone of her health wouldn't attack you."

"Well then, I guess I grab my face and grunt in pain," Dave said.

"I was probably behind him so I guess I'd be caught off guard too," John said.

"I run over and try to tackle Jordan, slap my own cuffs on her," Terezi said.

"I pull the revolver out of my purse and point it at Jordan," Vriska said.

"Woah, woah woah woah," John said, "We're doing this again? Really Vriska?"

"But I have a gun and there's a person there and…" Vriska looked in shame, "Fine, I try to help get Jordan under control. What do the girls need to roll?"

"Actually she's completely compliant with you cuffing her. No roll for combat needed," Rose said. Everyone looked at her flabbergasted.

"What? Bipolar much?" Vriska muttered.

"Um… yeah, I arrest her and read her rights and everything…" Terezi said.

"You arrest her, bring her in, and she is put into a holding cell," Rose said, "The captain comes out and congratulates you on a find job for catching the killer. Congratulations. You win!" Rose gave a thumbs up to the group.


	11. A Dirty World: Alibi

"You arrest her, bring her in, and she is put into a holding cell," Rose said, "The captain comes out and congratulates you on a find job for catching the killer. Congratulations. You win!" Rose gave a thumbs up to the group. Everyone looked around in confusion.

"Well that was entertaining," Dave said, "Short, but entertaining."

"No, no," John said, "That was way too short… Did we miss something?"

"Yeah, that case was way too black and white," Vriska said, "Open and shut like that? It took us less than twenty four hours in game time."

"There has got to be something we're missing," Terezi said, "We should investigate this some more."

"By the way, you, Detective Scott, are deemed the hero of the department. Not only was this your first case, and not only was this a high profile case, but you closed it in less than twenty four hours. You'll get a raise. Heck, maybe even a promotion," Rose said.

"Or not," Terezi said, "Good case guys. Let's break for lunch and do this again some time."

"No, we are not doing this Casey," Dave said, "What about justice? We know that there's more to it than this."

"But we've got a suspect dead to rights!" Terezi said, "Why test our careers by challenging our case?... I'm going to attack his Purity with Persuasive Corruption."

"Oh, we actually have some conflict between players now," Rose raised her eyebrows, "Dave, how are you going to respond?"

"I'm going to defend with my own Persuasive Corruption," Dave said, "I've been on the force for years now, and we've been on cases off the record so many times I can't even count them on my fingers anymore. We can be heroes now and heroes off the record." The both rolled their dice.

"I got nothing," Terezi said, "I'm not corrupt."

"Good, then I'll counter with Persuasive Honesty to attack her Deceit," Dave said, "Even then, the main thing this city needs for once is the truth. We're a city of fakers, and for once the truth needs to be let out into the light, by any means necessary."

"I'm going to counter with Persuasive Deceit and with his secret," Terezi said, "Well if the truth is what this city needs, why don't you start with your wife?"

"Wait, his wife, what?" John raised an eyebrow, "What the heck is going on?"

"I got a pair of threes," Dave said, "Hopefully that's enough."

"Sorry Detective," Terezi said, "I've got a pair of fives. Can I counter his attack with this again? Persuasive Honesty against his Deceit. If you want to be honesty to the city you have to be honest to yourself and your wife first."

"If that's how it's going to be, I'm going to come back with Vigorous Wrath," Dave said, "You even say that again I'll knock that smirk off your face."

"And now the man with a secret involving his wife is about to beat his partner," Vriska smirked, "This just keeps getting better."

"Am I the only person at this table who isn't a sociopath?" John asked. Vriska patted him on the back.

"It's not your fault you weren't born with the asshole gene," Vriska said, "You've just picked up less from us than we have from you."

"Anyways, I got a pair of nines and a pair of sixes," Terezi said, "Take that partner." Dave looked down at his dice and sighed.

"I've got nothing," He sighed, "I've been hit."

"First real slide against a player of the game," Rose said, "Move a point of Deceit over to Honesty."

"Before my friend Kendal can hit her I step in," John said, "Okay, guys, let's stop this. We've still got to check out Bratton's alibi."

"Darn. I was looking forward to this fight," Vriska muttered, "Okay then, what's our new plan?"

"I'd say we split up again," John said, "I'll go with Detective Malone to check out Bratton's friend; what's his name again?"

"Danny Levinson," Terezi said.

"Right, we'll go and check that out," John said, "I don't know what you guys should do."

"I'll look on Palmer's blog and see if there are any more leads." Vriska said, "I don't know if Detective Scott will join me but it seems like a plan."

"Why not," Terezi said, "Though I'd like a piece of the action when it happens for once."

"That would be amazing," Dave muttered.

"Alright, so you split up again," Rose said, "Ladies, you're doing the internet search. Make me a Patient Observation check."

"I've got nothing." Vriska said.

"And I've got a pair of fours," Terezi said.

"You notice that Palmer makes a comment on his blog about how he was going to review some place, and then he discovered something that would make his career," Rose said.

"And that something got him killed," Vriska said.

"The question is who was he reviewing?" Terezi said, "He didn't put the review up in time, nor did he come out and say who it was."

"I guess this secret went with Palmer to his grave," Vriska said, before slamming her fist on the table, "Dammit!" The female trolls both looked downtrodden. Suddenly Terezi looked up.

"No, we still have a lead," Terezi said, "Someone who Palmer would trust with just about anything.' Then dramatic cut over to the guys."

"First, who actually is this lead you're talking about?" Rose said, "I probably know who it is, but I still have to know so I'm prepared."

"It's that girl that game in as the first witness," Terezi said, "The one who works at the coffee shop."

"Taylor, right!" Vriska facepalmed, "Why didn't I think of it?"

"Taylor is your lead then," Rose said before looking back over at the boys, "Meanwhile, you two pull up to another suburban house. Unlike Bratton's, this house is well maintained. There is an old muscle car in the driveway, clearly under constant repair. You'd guess it was a family car that got passed down."

"At least we know he's home," John said, "Let's give this guy hell," He smiled. Dave smiled back and knocked on the table.

"The door opens to reveal a man you'd age in his early twenties. He's skinny and his face is covered in stubble. His clothes are wrinkled, but all in all his appearance makes him seem more down to Earth and friendly than like a scuzzball who needs grooming tips. He smiles at you, 'Hello?'" Rose said.

"Hello, I'm Detective Malone with the HVPD. This is a civilian investigator on the case with me, Mr. O'Malley," Dave said, "We have a case that we'd like to ask you some questions about. Can we come in?"

"I don't know, can you?" Rose chuckled. Dave and John looked at each other, both already hating the guy, "I kid. Come on in.' You walk inside and the house is nicely furnished, albeit like a bachelor pad. A bachelor pad for a kid with a trust fund, but a bachelor pad none the less. 'Take a seat. Do you guys want anything to drink?'"

"I'll take a Coke please," John said.

"Apple juice if you have it," Dave said.

"He nods and walks off to what you assume is the kitchen. 'So, officers, what exactly do you need me for?" Rose said.

"There was a murder a day or two ago. Preston Palmer was found in front of his house, dead," John said, "Perhaps you've heard about it?"

"Oh yeah," Rose said, "I heard about it on the news. You think I have something to do with it?"

"No," Dave said, "We've actually got a suspect in custody right now. The case is pretty open and shut."

"But we have some loose ends we'd like to tie up," John said, "For example, you."

"Me?" Rose asked, "You're really beating around the bush as they say. What does this case have to do with me?"

"The suspect we have in custody is a young woman by the name of Jordan Bratton," Dave said, "She said she was with you at the time of the murder."

"Well, we finished dinner around six thirty and she left soon after," Rose said, "I don't know when your murder took place so…"

"Well, we knew that much," John said, "Our main question is your relationship with her."

"My partner, who is off on another lead, has some level of training in psychology. She managed to pick up some information about you and her out of Jordan's brain. Isn't that interesting?" Dave said.

"Oh crap." Rose said, "You hear a bit of a clatter, 'Crap, I spilled all over myself. Give me a second while I go change.' You hear footsteps and a door slam."

"I'm going to walk back and find see if I can find out how bad the spill was," Dave said, "And to see where he went."

"You walk into the back room and find yourself in a kitchen. There is a spill of what is clearly apple juice on the floor, and on the counter there is a two liter of Coke and a bottle of orange juice. There is a door off to the side and a door outside," Rose said, "John, make me a Cunning Observation check."

"Pair of twos," John said.

"You hear a noise like a cry of slight pain from outside," Rose said.

"What? I look out the window," John said.

"You look out the window and you see Danny run from around the corner of the house, you assume he hopped the fence, and run for his car," Rose said.

"Crap, he's running," John said, "'Kendal, he's running!' And then I run outside to try and grab him."

"I run out of the kitchen and out the front door behind Magnus, draw my pistol, and fire a shot in the air in an attempt to get him to stop," Dave said.

"You run outside, and you see him frisking himself for keys," Rose said, "But once the door bursts open he just turns and books it. You're out first John; I assume you're running after him?" John nodded, "You run, and Dave comes out the door a few seconds later with his gun drawn. You hear a gunshot, but the guy doesn't stop running."

"Magnus, tackle him!" Dave said, "And I run after him too."

"You guys can make me Graceful Defiance rolls, but Dave gets a minus two because he's farther away," Rose said.

"I've got nothing," Dave said.

"And I've got a pair of tens." John said.

"So you're running, and the detective is falling a bit behind as he does his best to keep his gun on the guy," Rose said, "But Magnus just sprints up behind him and throws him to the ground."

"While I'm on top of him I just sucker punch him in the back of the head," John said, "Not as an attack or anything, just for the sake of being awesome. Then I pick him up back onto his feet."

"I put my gun away as I walk up," Dave said, "What the hell Danny. What did you do?"

"That bitch got what she deserved," Rose said, "After everything I did for her, she did nothing for me, so I took my dues."

"What?" Dave said.

"Maybe we should beat the truth out of him?" John asked.

"Why don't you boys make me Understanding Corruption rolls," Rose said.

"I've got triple sevens," Dave said.

"And I've got a pair of twos," John said.

"You flash back to Jordan Bratton," Rose said, "You remember how she attacked you when you went to grab her, yet she was completely calm when Casey grabbed her."

"Wait, are you saying she was…" John said, unable to finish the sentence. Rose nodded. The two boys looked over at each other, then back at Rose.

"I beat the crap out of him," they both say at the same time.

"Then roll your combined Vigorous Wrath," Rose said. The boys picked up their dice and rolled.

"That's three fours, three sixes, and two twos against his courage." Dave said.

"Well he has no courage in the first place, so you take a bunch of points off his Vigor. He is on the ground bleeding out of pretty much every orifice, including the ones you just gave him," Rose said, "You now have a bleeding, unconscious civilian in front of you. What do you do?"

"Take him in and put him into custody," Dave said, "He'll get his just desserts."

"These are just the kind of guys you pray have an accident on the on the courthouse steps, am I right?" John said.

"Yeah," Dave chuckled, "You hear that bro? We're warning you about stairs. Good thing he's unconscious so we still have the element of surprise."


	12. A Dirty World: The Truth Discovered

"Now for the girls," Rose said, "You two pull up to the Hollyville Coffee shop. Its late afternoon, and the place doesn't have that big of a crowd. You walk inside and it looks like a normal coffee shop, save that it's a table service place. So what are you guys going to do?"

"Take a seat and wait for Taylor Hudson to serve us," Vriska said.

"She should notice us here, since she spoke to us. Shouldn't be that hard to get her to serve us," Terezi said.

"Actually she doesn't serve you. It's some other girl. Short hair and all smiles," Rose said, "'Hey there! Can I take your order?"

"Oh…" Terezi said, "I look around for Taylor."

"She's here," Rose said, "She's serving in your general area actually."

"What, did she just not notice us or what?" Vriska asked.

"Make me Understanding Observation checks," Rose said.

"That's a pair," Vriska said.

"Same here," Terezi said.

"She noticed you all right," Rose said, "She's purposefully avoiding you. She doesn't want to talk with you for some reason."

"Actually, we need to talk to one of the waitresses," Terezi said, "If you excuse us.' And then we walk over to her."

"As you start walking over Taylor walks over to one of the other waiters who is about to walk out with the garbage. They talk for a second and he hands the back over to Taylor, and she walks out the back door," Rose said.

"Follow out after her," Vriska said, "We're doing it my way this time," Her smiled curled evilly as she held up a finger pistol.

"I…" Terezi bit her lip as she looked at Vriska, "Am strangely fine with that. Let's go show this little wench who she's been keeping stuff from."

"So you follow her out, and she walks over to the dumpster and throws the trash in. Make me Cunning Observation checks," Rose said.

"Dammit," Vriska muttered, "I've got nothing."

"…How did I get nothing either?" Terezi facepalmed.

"I, revolver out, walk up behind her and slam her into the dumpster," Vriska said, "Hey sweetheart. Remember us?"

"Ah!" Rose screamed, "What the hell?"

"It's me, the good detective. Remember me?" Terezi said, giving her usual shark like grin, "We just need to ask you a few questions, and then we'll be on our way."

"Ask your damn questions," Rose said.

"First things first, before he died Palmer was about to do a review when he caught onto a juicy secret," Vriska said, "Who was he going to review?"  
>"What?" Rose said, "What are you talking about? He didn't tell me anything about that."<p>

"Understanding Deceit," Vriska said as she grabbed her dice, "There's no way she's telling the truth."

"Let's not make assumptions yet," Terezi said, "I'll make Understanding Deceit also, for a pair of threes."  
>"Three sevens here," Vriska said.<p>

"Indeed, she is lying," Rose said, "Please let go! I have work to do."

"Or you're just trying to avoid us," Terezi said, "We know you saw us back in the coffee shop. Any real reason why you're trying to ignore us? And I'm going to threaten her with Vigorous Wrath, just to be intimidating."

"And I'll help her out with that, since I have the gun," Vriska said. They rolled their dice together and looked down.

"That's three sixes and two ones," Terezi said.

"Make that five sixes because of my gun," Vriska said, "We scare the crap out of her."

"You destroy one point off of her Persuasion, leaving her without any points in there," Rose said, "She just starts to sob and stutter, 'I'm sorry, they were threatening to kill me if I said anything.'"

"I flip her around so she's facing us rather than the dumpster," Vriska said, "Who's threatening you?"

"Them!" Rose pointed, "You turn and coming out of the store are two thugs, one armed with a club. They are getting pretty close to you now, ready to fight."

"I point my gun at the one with the club and fire," Vriska said as she rolled her dice, "I've got a pair of threes against his Courage,"

"In a flash you turn and shoot him in the arm. Unfortunately it's not his swinging arm," Rose said, "He charges at you and tries to beat the gun out of you hand. You destroyed one of his sets with your attack but he charged at you and the momentum of his charge hits the gun out of your hand. Terezi, what are you doing?"

"I crack my knuckles, 'Boys, do you know who you're messing with?'" Terezi said as she cracked her knuckles, "It may have been a few years, but you're still messing with the Scourge Sisters.' With that I go for the unarmed guy's kneecaps with a swift kick."

"Get a plus one to that roll for the reference to the Scourge Sisters," Rose said, "It intimidates him a bit."

"Then I get a pair of tens," Terezi said, "Strong kick to the legs."

"He's going to try and counter by grappling your leg," Rose said, "He manages to grab your leg, but it goes through. He's quick, but it was an off-balance grab and you ended up getting him. Vriska, back to you."

"Well, it looks like the Scourge Sisters are back," Vriska smiled, "I'm going to try and hit for the arm that he has the club in," She rolled the dice, "Oh my gob, three tens!" Rose looked up, eyes wide.

"Well then, you give a swift grab for his arm and you try and rush behind him," she said, "You feel his shoulder dislocate and he gives a cry, dropping the club. As he yanks out of your grasp you can hear another soft crack as he shrugs and it pops back into place. He's going to try to strangle you with a pair of nines. He has you by the throat, and he's attacking your Courage. Back to Terezi."

"So he has my leg right?" Terezi asked. Rose nodded, "Okay, so I'm going to spin around so my leg that was on the ground kicks him in the head for another pair of tens."

"Hey Dave," John whispered, "I think your girlfriend is now Jackie Chan from Rush Hour." Dave stared at him.

"Wow," Rose said, "I specifically designed these thugs to be a threat, and you are destroying them right quick. Anyways he's going to try and hold on to your leg so you spinning actually ends up hurting you…" Rose rolled the dice, facepalming at the result, "You guys have got to start sucking."

"Well, I'm going to try Graceful Defiance to wriggle my way out of his grasp," Vriska said.

"Meanwhile, he's going to be strangling you," Rose said, "I've got a pair of sevens. He'll use that to gobble any pairs you get so you can't get away."

"I've got a pair of threes," Vriska said, "So do I take damage?"

"No," Rose said, "Your pair was to get away. Obviously he can't hurt you if you get away, so he instead blocked you with his sevens. Since he has no other pairs, he can't hurt you. But he's still got you by the neck."

"This isn't good," Vriska said, "One more hit and I'm down. I've got one point of Vigor."

"So is the guy on the ground from the kick?" Terezi asked. Rose rolled some dice.

"Yeah, you've got him on the ground," Rose said.

"I'm just going to curb stomp him," Terezi said, "For another pair of tens!"

"You quickly regain your balance and step down on his head. He's unconscious," Rose said, "Vriska, your turn!"

"I'll try to break out again," Vriska said, "I've got a pair of sixes."

"And you're lucky, as he gets nothing on his strangle attack," Rose said, "Top of the round. Terezi?"

"I pick up his club from the ground and hit him over the head with it," Terezi said, "That'll give me a plus one, right?"

"Indeed. He's going to try and attack Vriska again though," Rose said, "Though now he didn't get any pairs."

"And I got two pairs," Terezi said, "Eights and threes."

"You come up behind him and bring the club down on his skull," Rose said, "He falls over and is out cold. Meanwhile, your partner is on the ground nearby, coughing as she gets her breath back."

"I help her up to her feet," Terezi said, "Are you okay?"

"Fantastic," Vriska said as she coughed, "It's nice to know that you think of me as your sister again."

"Hey, nothing like a little teamwork in combat to bring us two back together," Terezi said, "Where's Taylor?"

"Taylor is frozen up against the dumpster," Rose said, "She's kind of freaked out."

"Taylor, who the hell were those people?" Vriska asked.

"They were some thugs from the mob. Irish I think," Rose said.

"Irish mob?" Vriska froze, "Why would they be involved with this?"

"Preston's review?" Rose said, "It was for a place that was being used as a front for the mob. Drug running I think."

"What was he going to review?" Terezi asked.

"He was giving that club Hollyville Humors a second chance," Rose said, "They had me help cover it up for them." On the other side of the table, Dave and John were waving their arms at each other out of realization.

"I'm going to call Magnus," Vriska said, "He's going to want to know this." She held up her phone hand to her ear.

"Hello?" John said.

"Hey Magnus," Vriska said, "'We just talked to Taylor Hudson and we've got a huge lead.' It was then that I proceeded to explain what just happened."

"Ryan Howard?" John asked, "Dammit. I should have known it… Are you sure it was Irish mob?"

"That's what Taylor said," Vriska said, "I don't know if that's true but it's possible."

"Well then, we've got ourselves quite the problem," John said, "I've got to make another call. Bye."

"Wait, Magnus?" Vriska said.

"Huh?" John replied.

"Be careful," Vriska said, "We're getting into some deep shit again."

"Don't worry, I'm always careful," John said, "I love you."

"I love you too," Vriska said as she hung up the hand phone.

"Rose, if I may make this call in private," John said as he motioned to the door. Rose nodded as she stood up and escorted John out of the room.


	13. A Dirty World: The Final Battle

"Okay, so here's the plan," John said as he walked back into the room, "We all go over to the club. Kendal and I go in to confront Ms. Howard. You girls stay outside and when it hits the fan you come in. All else fails I've got some friends who will help clean this up."

"That's an understatement," Dave muttered.

"Wait, it's that simple?" Terezi said, "We just waltz in there and slap her on the wrist, and when things go south some outside force comes in and does the laundry?"

"That's actually a really good plan," Vriska said, "We've got the resources to clear house now. When is this going down?"

"Tonight," John said, "All the pieces are in play. Let's do this thing!" He slammed his hands down on the table and stood up, "Where doing it bro! Where making it happen!' And then I walk out of the room," he calmly sat back down.

"So we cut to later that night," Rose said, "You are outside the Hollyville Humors comedy club. Tonight the club closed early, its usual schedule for this day of the week. All the workers are still inside, cleaning up after today's show. Two bouncers are outside the front door as normal."

"Okay, so the guys go inside," Terezi said, "When things go bad we go in with the big guns."

"Which means?" Vriska asked.

"It's literal," Dave said, "Cop cars carry shotguns in the trunk. Anyways, Magnus, shall we make our leave?"

"Let's go," John said, "We walk up to the front door."

"Sorry gentlemen," Rose said, "The club is closed. You're going to need to come back tomorrow."

"We need to talk with your boss," Dave said, "Now."

"Sorry, but she's busy," Rose said.

"That wasn't a request," John said as he pulled out a finger gun. Rose glared at him.

"Come with me gentlemen," she said, "'I'll see if she can fit you into her schedule.' With that he walks inside, presumably with you two behind him. You walk over to the bar, where Ms. Howard is discussing business with some random people."

"You lied to us," John said with a glare, "You're the one that killed Palmer, not Bratton."

"Really?" Rose said, "You're just going to throw out that accusation in front of my employees?"

"We know these thugs are mob goons," Dave said, "And we know that one of the families is using this as a front. So what, did Palmer discover your little secret?"

"I have cousins in certain businesses," Rose chuckled, "They ask me to help them move in to the city and I can't do anything but oblige. Palmer, unfortunately, decides to give me a second chance and I have to cover some tracks."

"So you're admitting you killed him?" Dave said.

"Yes I am," Rose said, "I grabbed one of my mics from the club, and drove over to his house. Snuck up behind him while he was getting out of his car and strangled him."

"You're quite open with information," Dave said, "Sure you're not hiding anything else?"  
>"Why would I be?" Rose said, "I've got a place filled with thugs. You'll be dead within the hour."<p>

"Really now?" John said as he started to lift up his shirt, "Because you're not the only person with allies.' Showing her the wire."

"Dammit, he's wired," Rose muttered, "Kill them both!"

"And we jump over the bar!" Dave said.

"Make me Graceful Defiance checks," Rose said.

"Pair of fours over here," Dave said.

"And a pair of tens here," John said.

"You expertly dive over the bar as a spray of bullets comes towards you," Rose said, "Meanwhile, you girls hear gunfire from inside the club."

"It's our time to shine sister," Terezi said as she pumped an air shotgun, "Are you ready?"

"As ever," Vriska said, "Let's go save our boys."

"As you two get out of the car you see four black vans pull up," Rose said, "Out of each van five guys armed with SMGs and shotguns run out and run into the club along with you. Meanwhile, the boys see Ms. Howard run into the back room."

"I'll go after her," Dave said, "Give me covering fire." John nodded.

"Okay, since you're going to be helping Dave out beforehand, you have to roll your Graceful Courage," Rose said, "Any pairs you get add dice to Dave's roll."

"That's two tens, plus the gun for four tens," John said.

"So Dave," Rose said, "You add four dice to your Graceful Defiance roll."

"Wow, I've got four sixes," Dave said.

"Magnus stands up behind the bar, firing bravely into the crowd of thugs as Dave jumps over the bar, sprinting towards the back at full speed," Rose said, "Magnus, you notice your friends come in, armed to the teeth. Behind them wander in your good friends. Now, since this battle is kind of crazy I'm just going to have you roll all your Graceful Courage together just to see the tide of the battle."

"Three twos, pair of fours, two sevens, four eights, three nines, and two tens," Vriska said as she read the dice."

"We really kicked some ass," Terezi smirked.

"Indeed," Rose said, "The large battle in the main part of the comedy club is in your favor. Meanwhile Dave is sprinting full out after Ryan in the back hallways. She turns a corner and runs into her office."

"I'm going to charge after her, shoulder ramming through the door," Dave said, "What do I roll for that?"

"That would be Vigorous Defiance," Rose said.

"And that's a pair of fives to kick down the door," Dave said.

"You ram your shoulder into the door and it swings open," Rose said, "On the other side Ryan is reaching for an antique six shooter in a case."

"Using my momentum, I'm going to run up behind her and just pistol whip her," Dave said, "With a pair of fives against her Courage."

"You slam her to the floor. She lies there, dazed, reaching up towards the revolver," Rose said.

"I kneel down and look her in the eye, 'You know, it was brilliant," Dave said as he took off his sunglasses, 'Trying to frame that comedian. Too bad her friend was a sick bastard. Otherwise, you would have been in the clear," he put his sunglasses back on, "But this time, it looks like the joke's on you." He held up his finger gun and banged.

"Yeah?" John shrugged, "I don't know if I really should do that since that's kind of not moralistically good…"

"I know the game is pretty much over," Dave said, "But can I get a point of Wrath for killing Ryan?"

"Sure," Rose said, "But anyways, epilogue. The police arrive after the battle. The thugs from your side got away. You guys are on scene to say that you were about to make the arrest when a gang war broke out. Time goes on, Magnus's life goes back to normal. Sandra gets her big scoop, and the detectives are actually put up for review due to the nature of the attack on the club. You are eventually put back on the force, but you aren't recognized as heroes. Bratton is let free, but her career never gets back on its feet. She eventually is found in a sleazy motel on the outskirts of Hollywood, dead of alcohol poisoning. Taylor Hudson is put into witness protection and is lost in the system. With that, the case is closed. Questions, comments, suggestions?"

"I actually have one more scene I want to do after this, but I have to ask, what are everyone secrets?" Dave asked.

"Well, my secret," Terezi said, "Known by Dave, is that I screwed with evidence on a case. It was actually to protect Vriska."

"Yeah," Vriska said, "My secret, known by John and Terezi, was that I killed a police informant. I was doing an undercover job for my paper by getting in with the mob. A police informant caught wind of me, but thought I was part of the mob. I had to kill him to protect my cover."

"Which was why I was so pissed at her," Terezi said, "We had a good run before that, but I could barely forgive her."

"Meanwhile, my Uncle Leo was one of the higher ups from said mob," John said, "We were in a relationship until she broke up with me once I discovered she was a reporter. She and Dave knew my secret."

"Terezi knew my secret," Dave said, "I cheated on my wife."

"Wait, how did Terezi know your secret?" John asked. Terezi raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, you two were new partners," Vriska said, "I could understand her knowing if you were long running partners, but you guys just started working together."

"Unless she was the other woman…" John pointed out. The room was thrown into silence.

"You know, our games really have got to stop degenerating into discussions over who's been sleeping with whom," Vriska said, "But anyways, was there anything we missed?"

"Yes actually," Rose said, "Though they were kind of hard to come across. If you went back to talk to Morgan Bernard, you might have learned that he was a voyeur, not a jogger. Also you may have found footage of the murder and be lead to Ryan Howard even quicker because of him, but it was highly unlikely. Also, you might have had a hint of this, but Taylor Hudson and Preston Palmer were in a relationship. Taylor Hudson had a messed up past if you looked into it, and Palmer was there for her. He really wasn't a prick outside of his reviews."

"This was a good game," Dave said, "Now, if you don't mind us making our last scene…"

**XXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXX**

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are really pissed off right now. Not that you didn't expect this outcome, but it changes nothing. You walk out calmly, holding in your anger behind your usual stoic coolness.

"Well then, Detective, looks like I'm a free man!" Danny chuckles in your face as he followed you out of the courtroom, "A technicality. You were too busy beating me up to read me my rights!" You do nothing in response, keeping up the usual pace. You step out into the fresh air of Hollyville and look down the steps of the courthouse, then back over at the criminal.

"Admit it," He says, "You lost. Now I'm going to go home and be a useless piece of shit all day and play videogames." You stare back at him, eyes locked for a moment under your shades. Then he turns and starts to walk down the stairs. Suddenly a shot rings out. People scream and run off in every direction as Danny grabs at his chest and tumbles down the stairs. You look over and give a slight smile where John sits with a rifle. Or at least where you think he is. You put on the coolkid facade again and walk down the stairs to where Danny sits.

"I warned you about stairs bro," You mutter as you kick him in the ribs. You turn and walk off.

**XXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXX**

**Hey everyone! I'm back! Sorry about taking so long. Vacation went longer than expected. But I finished A Dirty World for you all, so at least that's something. Hope this is to all your liking, and I apologize if it isn't**

**Anyways, now that this is done, next up our heroes will go back to D&D to face the WORLD'S LARGEST DUNGEON! You know, the one that takes a minimum of two years to beat.**

**But I kid. Next up we'll be ditching two of our regulars and gaining a new player as our heroes face off against a strange monster in the Supernatural RPG demo: THE HUNT BEGINS, or OF WOLF AND MAN. Tune in next time as our players show how STRONG they are in a bar fight as they gather information on the Beat of Bray Road...**

**Give or take a side story or two...**


	14. Side Story: SkaiaCrossed Lovers

It was a strange, the effect Jade had on him. He knew he had changed; that was the point of Sgrub, Sburb, and all such games. While, at this point in his life, he hadn't stepped into what the game had called him to be, he still had begun to mature. He had become a protector of his friends, and every now and then his prick of a shell willingly slipped.

Even then that was only so much change. Around her things were different. He smiled more often, didn't mind hugs and such. Hell, he even cursed less. That being said, he still debated how far he was willing to go to help her out.

He sat on her large canopy bed, staring up into a model of the strange night sky of the three crossed universes between Alternia, Earth, and Skaia. Squiddle themed furniture was all around. Strangely enough, the odds and ends seemed comfortable and easy on the eyes, rather than the garish style he assumed. But that wasn't the problem here.

"You know, I'm not sure which is worse, roleplaying night or being forced to read lines with you," Karkat muttered. Jade let out a soft whine as she looked over at him.

"Karkat, you said you'd run lines with me," She said, "I know you're not into human stories but I need help with English."

"But Romeo and Juliet?" Karkat muttered as he looked at the front of the book, "This thing barely even sounds like English. What's it about anyways?"

"It takes place a long time ago," Jade explained, "Two families are essentially each other's… Kismesis, except that the prince of Verona is their Auspitice. Meanwhile a boy and a girl from each family become Matesprits. Time goes on, they fill buckets together, but then the girl's brother kills the boy's Morail, so the boy kills the girl's brother. The Auspitice kicks the boy out of town. The girl makes a plan to fake her death and escape to the town where the boy is. Unfortunately the guy who makes the plan doesn't inform the boy in time, so the boy ends up killing himself since he assumes his Matesprit is dead. The girl wakes up and kills herself since her lover is dead. Their deaths cause the Auspitice to get on the city's ass."

"What?" Karkat sighed, "I hated that movie. I find it strange you knew the troll title though."

"Lucky guess," Jade said, "I personally think you would prefer Hamlet, though that's just another guess." Karkat raised an eyebrow.

"Hamlet?" Karkat asked, "What's that troll title?" Jade rolled her eyes.

"Boy learns that his lusus was killed by his uncle. Now his uncle and his other lusus are Matesprits. So he and his Moirail decide that he will pretend to be insane so he can have revenge. Unfortunately he pushed away his own Matesprit in the process. The boy hires a group of actors to recreate the murder, and gets confirmation that the uncle killed his father. So, after some discussion, the boy kills his Matesprit's lusus, and then gets sent away to an alternate world. Over there he gets to agents of his uncle killed, and then comes back to his world only to find that his Matesprit is dead. He gets challenged to a duel by his Matesprit's brother, but secretly he is at a disadvantage as the brother has a poisoned blade and the boy's is dulled. Even then the boy wins, though he is poisoned. More crap happens and all the other major characters die besides the boy's friend."

"Better," Karkat said, "It's no Romcom but I like it," He flipped open the book Jade had given him, "So where are we reading?"

"Right here," Jade pointed down Karkat's book, "This is where Romeo and Juliet meet for the first time. Romeo is trying to flirt with Juliet and she's just teasing him."

"So Romeo takes Juliet's hand," Karkat says as he takes Jade's hand, "And he's saying comparing your hands and lips to religious stuff and then asks for a kiss?"

"Indeed," Jade said with a fake British accent, "And then I say that you holding my hand is just as good as kissing."

"But then I say that lips are different than hands," Karkat stared at the book.

"But I basically keep with the metaphor saying I won't kiss you," Jade replied.

"And then I kiss you," Karkat said, and looked back up at Jade, before instantly looking back at the book, "Wait what?"

"You read the book," Jade said, "Romeo kisses Juliet at this time." Karkat's face filled with red.

"Well… uh… now I'm sounding like Gamzee," Karkat muttered, "No guts no glory," He said as he slowly leaned in for the kiss. His eyes closed, and he waited for a moment he denied that he would even want. It was romantic. It was perfect. It was…

"Buldgeblock!" A voice came from outside the room. Karkat's eyes opened to see a receptive Jade looking just as surprised as he was. They both slowly turned to see Eridan standing in the door, calmly sipping out of a minimart cup of soda. Karkat's face turned redder than ever as his body filled with rage.

"DAMMIT ERIDAN YOU CONKCUCK FUCKASS LITTLE SHIT! I SWEAR TO CUT YOUR BULGE OFF AND GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT!" Karkat said as he ran out of the room, chasing Eridan down the hall. Jade made him change. It was Eridan that kept him the same.


	15. Supernatural: Road Trip

John smiled as he looked up at the group. "It's great being back in the Game Master's seat again." His smile was big enough to give Terezi a run for her money. Unfortunately it wasn't infectious.

"I'm glad you're happy," Karkat muttered, "I don't see why we have to drag the muscle-bound guy into this though." Equius glared back at him, though nobody could tell through the shades.

"Hey, I'm not one to play games with such lowbloods like you," He said, "But I wanted to be a good Moirail and learn to play these games for Nepeta."

"Well maybe you should just ignore her if she's playing such lowblooded games and…" Karkat was suddenly cut off.

"Karkat, please," Jade said, "We're here to play a game, not to have you two fight."

"Seriously guys," Terezi said, "You two bicker like a married couple. Now if you don't mind could we get on with this game? We haven't even made our characters yet."

"Actually I have a surprise for you guys," John said as he pulled a book and a few sheets out of his backpack, "I've decided to do something kind of strange but fun. Sorry Equius, but we won't really be roleplaying."

"What?" Equius asked as he grabbed the character sheet, "Why is my name on this sheet?"

"It's a bit of a quirk," John said, "But you guys are going to be playing yourselves. You'll be the ones hunting the monsters, not characters you've made." John smiled. The players looked down at their sheets.

"I'm not addicted to milk," Equius said.

"How am I socially awkard?" Jade asked

"I'm not a cop last time I checked," Terezi said, "Why do I carry a badge?"

"I do not have anger issues!" Karkat yelled. With that everyone turned and looked at him, "I don't." He muttered before ripping the book out of John's hand and hiding his face under the pretense of reading the book.

"Well, I did my best," John shrugged, "I have to go with what they have in the book. I did my best to fit it together based on your lives."

"So is there anything that we are missing?" Terezi asked as she flipped over the sheet, "It kind of kills it since we aren't able to make anything."

"Actually the one thing you do need to choose is a vehicle," John said, "That's kind of your choice. I honestly don't think it'll be that important in this adventure, but we'll still choose for the sake of having transportation in this game. So if you just look at the book…"

"We'll be taking the '67 Chevy Impala." Karkat said as he put the book down at the table. John stared for a moment.

"Are you sure?" John asked, "It's just one car and there's another two pages after it. Plus the rest haven't looked at the book."

"I'm sure," Karkat said, "It's on a post-it note in the book rather than on the book. That means it's important. We're going with it."

"If it's important, I do believe it's something I would like." Equius said.

"I can agree with that," Terezi said, "That post-it note smells like an Orange Julius."

"Okay then, a '67 Chevy Impala it is," Jade said, "Not what I'd pick but I'm fine with it."

"So we've decided on a vehicle," John said as he flipped through some pages, "So I guess we go to the start of the story," John cleared his throat, "There's nothing like driving through the Midwest. Most of the roads are flat and surrounded by corn or soy fields. The scenery rolls by in an almost endless loop: Corn, silo, barn, corn, and so on, except every so often there is a big yellow sign with the word 'ADULT' offering truck drivers some diversion. Probably so they don't fall asleep at the wheel."

"Oh, how lewd," Equius muttered, "I'm definitely not pulling over there."

"Woah," Karkat said, "I found the car, so I should be the one driving."

"Hey," Jade said, "You drove during our Call of Cthulhu game. Give someone else a try."

"I drove during A Dirty World and I still want to drive," Terezi said, "Not to mention I… Have no points in Drive."

"I have two points in drive," Equius said, "Not to mention the highest Agility in the party." Karkat leaned over, and nodded.

"Okay then, you're driving." He muttered.

"If you don't mind me finishing…" John interrupted, "Elkhorn, Wisconsin doesn't seem like the kind of place to find a slavering beast. It's a pretty, quiet town with the usual mix of chain restaurants and local businesses. The interstate and several county highways are all nearby, offering easy access in and out. What all good Midwest towns do have, thank goodness, is a bar on every street corner- and Elkhorn's no exception. You've found yourself in a joint called All Thumbs. It's smoky and dimly lit- Mostly by eight-year-old Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling. Mounted fish and other trophies hang on the wall, the pride and joy of the owner who's a permanent fixture at the front corner of the bar. But hey, there's a pool table, a dartboard, and cheap beer on tap."

"No time like the present to start looking for a local werewolf," Jade said. John looked over at her and slowly shifted his papers out of her view as best he could.


	16. Supernatural: Reporters

**AN: You know, after the last Side Story, I have a sudden urge to just write a series of oneshots that are all the couples I ship (maybe even some I don't) all in this super romantic moment. Not really sexual or anything, just things that show that I'm a hopeless romantic. And while they have these things going on, Eridan randomly comes in and "buldgeblocks". I mean, just think about it: John and Vriska cuddling, in the background either How Do I Live or I Don't Want To Miss A Thing playing in the background, they start getting closer, and BAM! It'll be funny. I'm not going to do it, but it'll be funny.**

**XXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXX**

"So here's the information you have so far," John said, "You learned through hunter contacts that a murder happened in this town two days ago. There has been a local werewolf legend going around for years called the Beast of Bray Road. Due to the nature of the murder, which you don't know the details of, it is believed that said werewolf legend is responsible. Your contact is the bartender here, one Karen Witten. She's not a hunter and doesn't know of the lifestyle, but she is a reporter that covers he sightings and the legend."

"Okay, quick huddle in the car," Jade said, "What's our cover?"

"We're monster hunters trying to track down the Beast of Bray Road," Equius said, "We want to find this murderous creature and show it how STRONG we are." The rest of the party looked over at Equius, and then leaned forward to block him from the huddle.

"Okay, a cover than doesn't end with us being locked in the loony bin," Terezi said, "Should I use my police credentials?"

"Not yet," Karkat said, "Save that for when we need it. We don't want to talk to cops earlier than we need."

"Well, we don't want to ruin Terezi's cover as a cop, and I can't talk to people," Equius said, "Why don't you and Jade go talk to her?"

"That'll work," Jade said, "We'll say we're people who go and research legends and stuff, and this has piqued our interest. We're crappy parapsychologists from some science magazine or something."

"Perfect," Terezi said, "'Now let's go find out about this werewolf,' And then we turn and walk inside." John looked back and forth at all the players to see if they liked the plan. When nobody spoke against it, he looked down at his notes.

"You step into the bar, which is just how I described it earlier," John said, "Some of the patrons glance over to see who entered, and then turn back to their drinks. Most of the people sit at tables, a good portion around the dartboard. There is a young man sitting at the end of the bar, along with the local drunk. Behind the bar is an attractive woman in her mid-30's with librarian glasses and a few tattoos disappearing below a low cut blouse. You assume she's Karen."

"Terezi and I take a seat at one of the tables and keep an eye out for trouble," Equius said.

"I love how the blind girl and the unarmed guy are the ones keeping watch," Terezi chuckled.

"Then we walk up to the bar and wait for Karen to approach," Jade said.

"Waiting?" Karkat scoffed, "Why wait? 'Hey, bartender! Down here!'"

"The bartender looks over at you, says a few things to the guy at the end of the bar, and walks over to you," John said, motioning as though he's cleaning a glass, "'What can I get you two?'"

"We'll have two beers and another two for the pair at the table," Karkat motioned over to Equius and Terezi.

"She reaches under the bar into a fridge and pulls out four beers," John said.

"Karkat, we're on the job," Jade muttered, "Plus someone needs to drive."

"Then I'll drink yours and you can drive," Karkat said, "'Hey guys,' I toss them their beers."

"Do they have milk at Human bars?" Equius asked. The party ignored him again.

"Miss, are you Karen Whitten?" Jade asked.

"Yes I am," John nodded, "I don't think I've seen you guys in town. You new around here?"

"Yes, we are reporters from Supernatural Magazine," Jade said, "We heard about the attack by The Beast of Bray Road and we're here to cover it."

"Supernatural Magazine?" John asked, "Never heard of it."

"It's a small production at the moment," Jade said, "We only really operate down in… Houston and a few surrounding towns."

"Yeah, despite what it sounds like, we're actually pretty fuckin' sweet," Karkat said, "And if you help us it'll just keep getting better."

"Karen seems excited," John said, "'Really? I hope you can get it out here. I'm not really into the supernatural much but when you have local legends it makes you want to see what else is out there."

"Well, if could answer a few questions ma'am it'd be quite helpful," Jade said as she reached for notebook paper, "From what I hear you are the local expert on The Beast of Bray Road?"

"I wouldn't say expert," John shrugged, "I just write articles on sightings and such. Not really an expert, but I'll do my best to help you out."

"First things first," Karkat said, "How long has this thing been around?"

"Well," John thought for a moment, "I'd say around the 1980's. That's when the thing was named," He leaned in and whispered, "Though I did some research, and there have been sightings of large wolves in the area for ages."

"Wait," Karkat said, "This thing has been in the area for years and you haven't killed the fucking thing? What the fuck is wrong with you? I realize you guys are stupid pink monkeys but come on!" Karkat put his hands on his head, "What is wrong with this conksuck town?"

"If you are going to act like that this interview is over," John said with a glare, "Also, I'd say that your Crude complication has just earned you three plot points. Nice roleplaying there!" He smiled.

"I was roleplaying?" Karkat asked, "But I…" Jade quickly covered his mouth.

"You just got three plot points," she said, "Don't look a present hoofbeast in the foodhole or whatever you guys say." Karkat nodded and wrote the plot points down on his sheet.

"Sorry miss," Jade said, "I apologize for my compatriot. The company sends him down with me to deal with the more aggressive interviewees. What can I roll to get you back on my side?"

John looked down at the sheet, "I'd say Willpower plus Influence. Persuasion if you have it."

"In Influence I have Conversation and Administration," Jade said, "Will either of those work?"

"Conversation would take a bit more time," John said, "I interpret it as getting someone to your side through the whole conversation. And I don't think knowing Bureaucracy would help here."

"Okay then, I guess I'll just do Willpower and Influence," Jade said as she rolled the dice, "And I got an 8."

"Okay then," John said, "Any other questions?"

"What was this creature described as looking like?" Jade asked.

"They are far from consistent," John said, "Some say it resembles an oversized wolf, others say it's more bear-like. A good portion of witnesses say its half wolf, half man, and it either walks upright or on all fours. It's either brown or gray. When it is seen its usually scavenging on the side of the road."

"Sounds like a werewolf or something," Jade said with a laugh, followed by a stern look to Karkat.

"Actually, you two can make me an Intelligence plus either Shapeshifter Lore or Werewolf Lore check," John said.

"I guess I…" Karkat looked at the sheet, "Really John? A Demon specialty in Lore?"

"Well, you were the one who knew Jack," John said, "And you called him a demon. It's the same reason you have an Obsession to kill your former partner."

"Oh jegus," Karkat muttered as he grabbed his dice, "I got a twelve."

"Good thing too," Jade said, "I rolled a four."

"Yeah, werewolves look strangely not wolf like," John said, "They also don't walk on all fours."

"Well, looks like you might be wrong," Karkat whispered to Jade, "But I once again bring up the question, why haven't you killed this monster yet? It attacked someone!"

"Well it's never killed anyone before," John said, "It scared some people, but this is the first attack on a person. People are actually scared now. Local hunters are going to track, kill, and stuff the creature."

"Any that you can specifically remember?" Jade asked, "We might join them on the hunt."

"Ummm… Joey Brown!" John said, "I remember him because he's normally the quiet type."

"Joey Brown, eh?" Karkat said, "We'll check him out. What about the murder? What happened?"

"Okay, this is a bit of a story," John said, "Stan Cleary was the center for Fox High School's football team. He's a junior. Apparently Stan had car trouble, pulled over to check under the hood, and was ravaged by a large gray wolf, according LeeAnn Robinson. She's the witness. Since then the Beast chased some girls near the high school. The girls said it looked like a hairy man."

"Well, I think that's some good information," Jade said, "Thank you for your time Karen. If you think of anything else, here's my card. You've been a big…"

"You bitch!" John suddenly cut her off. Jade looked at him inquisitively, "You turn and see a man in mechanic overalls. He's carrying a beer and already looks quite drunk. 'Karen, you're cheating on me with this freak?'" John pointed at Karkat. Karkat looked around and pointed at himself with a cocked eyebrow.

"Excuse me, this man may be crude, but he isn't a freak!" Jade said, "He's more caring than you could possibly know and…" This time Karkat covered her mouth, his face starting to turn red.

"Jade… Let the men talk… PLEASE," He said to her. Then he looked back at John, "Hey Fuckass, I don't know why you're accusing me, but I'm here as a reporter. If you think you can come in here and try and mess with me, you can come at me man! I'll totally kick your…"

"He punches you in the face," John said.

"Oh shit!" Karkat yelled, "But I was going to roll intimidation… Yet he makes a surprise attack and… I rolled a natural one on my dodge."

"Then take 8 Stun damage as he punches you in the face," John said, "With one drunken swing you're floored. Take another two plot points for your anger issues." Karkat looked down at his sheet.

"Woohoo."

"I quickly jump out of my chair, run over to the punk, and slam his head into the bar," Equius said, "For 15 damage."

"In an instant you are over to him," John said, "He tries to dodge, but your hand is on his head, which slams into the table, and he just falls to the floor. Everyone stares at you."

"I pick up Karkat over my shoulder and carry him out to the car," Equius said, "'I think we should go to the hotel now.' Also, just for kicks, I grab the guy's beer and drink it as we leave."

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**AN: For those of you wondering, "Hey Elias, why didn't Equius or Terezi do anything this chapter? They could all have talked!" Here's my logic. Karkat, when I made him (because I actually make the characters and roll the dice and everything) got two certain complications: Crude, and Anger Issues. Jade, on the other hand, got Good Natured because she, while quirky, is still genuine and nice to everyone more or less. So we have the guy who keeps on cursing everyone out and gets negatives to his interactions because of it with the sweet girl who gets bonuses to her social actions because of how nice she is. It's funny, trust me.**


	17. Supernatural: Investigation

**AN: I really want to apologize for the fact tat this part is both relatively short, and that it took so long to make. There are a variety of reasons that I've not been working on this. I'm going to college now, so things have been hectic. I've been working on some personal writing projects, not to mention the style of writing of this fic is frustrating. Everything happens in speech rather than action, so it's difficult to properly do. If anything I might just completely swich the style of the fic to have them in character, but most likely not. This does not mean I'm putting this on hiatus or stopping writing this fic. Just don't expect me to follow my original update plan of a new chapter every week. But thank you for continuing to read.**

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"I lay Karkat down in the car, 'Okay, so what's the plan now?,'" Equius said. Karkat raised his hand.

"Am I awake yet?" he said, "Being unconscious isn't fun to play." John looked over at the sheet.

"Actually you weren't unconscious," John said, "I just had you floored for plot reasons. You start coming to as he's carrying you out."

"Put me down you idiot," Karkat said, "I'm fine." Equius smiled.

"I drop him straight to the ground instead," he said. Karkat glared again and started writing on his sheet.

"So how much damage do I take from the drop?" he asked. John raised an eyebrow.

"It's not that big of a fall. Its comic relief," John shrugged, "By the way, for the laughs, Equius can take a plot point. As for the damage, if you really want it you can take another point of stun. You really are a glutton for punishment."

"No thanks. I'm good," Karkat muttered, "Now what's the plan?"

"Well, since you're messed up I think you should stay in the motel and do research on the computer," Jade said.

"That sounds good," Terezi said, "Equius and I will investigate the school. Jade, I think you should go talk to Mr. Brown, the victim's family, and maybe the witness Mrs. Robinson."

"Do you think you'll need me at the school?" Equius asked, "I don't like splitting us up so much."

"I can take care of myself," Jade said, "I've got an insane amount of points in rifle."

"Not to mention the only way we'll get anything at a school is if I actually use my police credentials," Terezi said, "We'll be partners. I'll be the brains and you'll be the brawn."

"But I'm relatively smart," Equius said.

"And I can fight. They don't know that though," Terezi said, "So we're cop buddies. You two can try and keep the magazine story going though."

"Can we get me to the motel first?" Karkat asked, "My general face area is in pain right now."

"Okay, we drop him off at the hotel, and then I drop you off at the high school and interview the witnesses," Jade said. Everyone muttered in agreement.

"That's the plan then," John said, "I'll start with Karkat. What are you doing?"

"First things first, Intelligence plus Medicine on my face. I got a nine," Karkat said.

"Okay then, you pop some painkillers and manage to have a spare piece of raw steak to put on your face," John said. Karkat glared at him.

"What? Hoofbeast meat?" he asked, "What the hell does… You know what, I'm not even going to ask," he faceplamed, "I'll just start the research. First of all, compare the murder to various facts about werewolves."

"Well, you easily learn that sightings of the Beast don't match up with the full moon," John said, "Are you looking anything else about the murder?"

"The victim, I guess," Karkat shrugged, "What can I find out about him?"

"Make me an Intelligence plus Tech check for me then," John said. Karkat rolled the dice.

"I rolled an eight," Karkat said.

"Then you find a few things that are interesting," John said as he looked through the pages, "First you find a few local news articles about various sporting events he is in, along with a MySpace page that is being taken care of by his friends and family now that he's gone. You also find an online blog that some other students have talking about the victim, saying he's a bully."

"So this definitely isn't a werewolf, and the victim was a jerk," Karkat said, "I pass on the information to the others."

"Now we go on to Jade," John said, "After dropping your friends off at the school you make your way over to Joey Brown's house. It's a usual blue collar house, nothing fancy. There are no cars in the driveway. What do you do?"

"I walk up and knock on the door," Jade said.

"You wait for a minute or two, and a little girl opens the door," John said, "Hello?"

"Hello there little girl," Jade said, "Is your father home?"

"No," John said, "He's out hunting."

"He's going out after the beast, right," Jade said to herself, "Well, little girl, is there any way I could contact your father?"

"Father doesn't have a cellphone. He uses the payphone down the street," John said. Jade sighed.

"Well, when your father gets back could you ask him to contact me," Jade said, pretending to pull out a card.

"Okay," John said, "At which point she shuts the door on you."

"Well that was helpful," Jade muttered, "Guess it's the cops turn."

"So you get dropped off at Fox High School. You start chatting with various students and teachers. Make me Willpower plus any Influence checks, and tell me if you get over seven," John said.

"I got over a seven without any specialty," Terezi said.

"And I passed with Intimidation," Equius said. With that John pulled out a few small pieces of paper.

"Terezi, you go out and have a chat with some of the football players," John handed her half of the stack, "Meanwhile, Equius goes and threatens some punks with jail time. Here's what you learn." He handed Equius the other half of the stack.

"So I learned a bit about Stan Cleary," Terezi said as he looked at the stack, "Apparently he wasn't a nice guy, but he wasn't a jerk. He just dealt with the usual teenage shenanigans. He worked at a place called Butterbergers. He wasn't known for being a bully really, but everyone knew he was a jealous boyfriend. I talked to his moirail Jim, and…" She rolled some dice, "He was clearly afraid. I could smell the fear on him."

"Do you think he had something to do with the crime?" Equius asked, "Maybe he's hiding something?"

"He clearly is," Terezi said, "But we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. What did you find out?"

"Oh right," Equius said as he looked at the paper, "Stan's girlfriend was the cheerleader Leah Hartley. They'd been serious for the last six months. Leah wanted to go to college, but Stan was dead set on marrying her right out of high school and starting a family. Those fights Stan got in were because guys were supposedly getting to friendly with her. The last fight was in auto shop the day before the attack. Some nerdy poet named Dwayne Ward was reading a poem to Leah. Stan beat him up, and the teacher, Mr. Mark Corrigan, had to break it up."

"Maybe we should go talk to Mr. Corrigan," Terezi said, "He might know something considering he saw the fight."

"Indeed. Let us go investigate the man," Equius said.


	18. Author's note

**For those of you who haven't noticed (considering the favorites this gets every now and then), this story is on a permanent hiatus. There was something annoying that comes with writing people describing actions rather than, well, writing actions directly.**

**For those of you who liked this story, thank you. I'm glad you took the time to read it.**

**I am planning a sort of a follow up based on the game Fiasco, a game designed for quick play and is simply a roleplaying exercise in and of itself.**

**I'm writing this as a series of AU's, when I do publish it, rather than people sitting around a table talking.**

**Anyways, stay tuned for Fiasco stuck. Until then, have fun and good reading.**


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